Bobblehead on Condors

Soccer Doesn't Rule After All As Inline Hockey League Forms At Bakersfield SMUF

2008-10-23T18:02:00.000-07:00

After what local roller hockey enthusiasts feared might be a complete soccer takeover of an LA Kings donated hockey rink, the Saunders Multi Use Facility (SMUF) is accepting team fees of $1,000 for its inaugural 8-week season.

Just after the grand opening in May, 2008, the facility was mostly contracted to the potentially more lucrative venture of soccer. Hockey enthusiasts held out hope and now a league is forming.

Hockey enthusiast Chris Fleming is putting together a team for the silver league. He said, "I think that we were scared that they (SMUF)were going to try to push us out. But they are definitely being inviting and giving us an opportunity to do kids and adult leagues. We're organizing a little more than expected. If we can organize it right, they will continue to support it."

Read full article, see photos, video

Bakersfield Condors Bury Stockton Thunder 7-4 For First Win Of 2008-2009 Season

2008-10-22T23:02:00.000-07:00

It was the kind of game Bakersfield Condors fans appreciate: a come-from-behind 7-4 win filled with high scoring and two periods of domination on the ice. Yet hardcore fans would find the win bittersweet as the hard-hitting and fiery defense of past seasons was mostly left off the ice.

The Condors showed lackluster defense during the first period as about 3,500 fans watched their team quickly slide in a Thunder 2-0 run.

Read the full article, see photos and twitter highlights on Truxtun Avenue

Live Twitters From Tonight's Condors Game Against Stockton Thunder

2008-10-22T17:40:00.000-07:00

Truxtun Avenue will provide live twitters from Wednesday night's ECHL ice hockey game between the Bakersfield Condors and the Stockton Thunder at the Rabobank Arena. Doors open at 6 p.m., puck drops at 7 p.m.

Follow along at www.twitter.com/nlbelardes for up-to-the-minute scores and occasional comments. There may be some special twitters from the announcer's booth...

Read full article

Pre-season, Schmeeseason. Let's Get Rockin' - By N.L. Bobblehead

2008-10-13T09:17:00.000-07:00

Preseason ice hockey. Preseason anything. Preseason marbles. Preseason basketball, football, baseball.

Schmeeseason.

Just like past seasons I've been trying to ignore all the drama. Truelson quits, management woes. Topsy turvy drama and the season hasn't seven begun.

And why on Earth would I want to watch preseason against the Wranglers?

The season is about to begin. Let's thank the hockey gods for that!

- n.l. bobblehead

Mike Hart To Announce Bakersfield Condors Ice Hockey Games in '08 - By N.L. Bobblehead

2008-10-13T09:15:00.000-07:00

Mike Hart confirmed in a phone call with Truxtun Avenue last Thursday that he would announce Bakersfield Condors ice hockey games.

The local fan favorite announcer and ABC23 anchorman said while he wouldn't announce this weekend's preseason game at the Nest, but he would be around for the 2008-2009 season.

In fun unrelated hockey news, the Condors Face-Off newsletter said they will be selling Japanese goalie Fukufuji jerseys and headbands this season during games.

Condors Announcer Says 'Enough!' - By N.L. Bobblehead

2008-02-26T14:20:00.000-08:00

Looks like Mike Hart has a few things to say about flying cowbells and Marty Raymond's "Enough is enough!" speech.

Read an excerpt:

Coach Marty Raymond said it best; enough is enough.

He was referring to the call in Sunday's loss to Fresno that set him off, triggering a tirade on the bench that resulted in a dry erase board, dozens of sticks and one Gatorade cooler being flung, tossed or kicked onto the ice.

It's what followed his outburst that made me stop and think hard.

Coach Raymond's fire storm also triggered a rain storm inside Rabobank, in the form of rubber pucks, drinks and even cow bells to come raining down on the ice.

The onslaught was aimed at the referee, for what the crowd and Raymond believe were some bad calls by T.J. throughout the game, culminating with the downpour.

Let me stop for a moment to say this.

I love Condorstown. It's a family.

I've been to other arena's in this state, and a few in Minnesota, and have yet to find a franchise that gets the kind of support (minus a championship) that this club has received in it's 10 years of existence.

However, with all families, there are a few knuckleheads that do stupid things, but you still love them and hope someday they'll straighten out.

Full article

Don't forget the video

ABC23 video of Condors coach going ballistic - By N.L. Bobblehead

2008-02-25T18:05:00.000-08:00

Nuts. Crazy. Cowbells flying, sticks--three tubs worth--and Gatorade. Hey man, don't waste the stuff!

That was Saturday's game against the dreaded Fresno Falcons. There's always drama against the Big No.

According to Condors announcer, Mike Hart, a cowbell almost hit he and the guy who sits next to him on the head. I'm telling you, sponge pucks often rain down on Hart, but not cowbells. No, in this case all we don't need is a little more cowbell.

And it wasn't thrown by coach Marty Raymond.

Coach Marty Raymond did go ballistic. It's not something the fans normally get to see. I didn't get to the game until the third period, so I missed the bruhaha.

But here, we can all watch it together and try to figure out if the goal counted and who knocked the mask off the goalie's face. I slammed this raw video onto YouTube today so we can also be entertained by the coach's antics too. And don't forget...let's all be glad a cowbell didn't almost hit any of us or the announcer and the scorekeeper in the head.

Watch the video:

By the way, since I don't like the Fresno Falcons, I'm just going to go ahead and blame all of the Condors problems on them since they're an easy target.

The Condors great 41-hour Fighting Cancer Hockey-thon but NO Fukufuji Bobblehead for this fan – By Matildakay

2008-02-25T15:17:00.000-08:00

When the Condors do a fighting cancer hockey-thon weekend, they do it up nice. 41-hours of hockey and charity auctions/fundraisers and hockey related family filled events! Oh my, I’m tired just typing that sentence I can only imagine how the Condors players and staff are feeling right about now.

Here’s a brief recap of this weekend’s 41-hour hockey-thon:

Saturday:

-The Condors lost Saturday night to the Stockton Thunder 5-2.

-2,000 Fukufuji Bobbleheads were passed out to children Saturday night.

-I couldn’t convince any of the Condors staff that I was 12 so that they would give me a Fukufuji Bobblehead. Go figure.

-Not one 12 year old I asked would give up their Fukufuji Bobblehead to this Condors fan. Stingy!

-Teenagers refused to rumble 12 year olds for me in my quest for a Fukufuji Bobblehead. And here I thought teenagers were full of attitude looking for trouble.

-Condors’ veterans Rosebush and Mears showed off their goal shooting skills during the first intermission causing us fans to long for the good ole seasons of Condors yesteryear.

-The Condors gave money to charities.

-A local Iraqi war veteran got a standing ovation.

Sunday:

-The Condors alumni team beat the Fresno Falcons alumni team 13-8. Are all of our best players retired?

-Kevin Barrett was awarded the alumni game’s first star.

-Sawyer Robinson was the 2 millionth Condors fan and received a Condors prize pack full of really cool Condors booty! I hope he made it out of the stadium with all his loot.

-The Condors lost to the Fresno Falcons 6-1 Sunday afternoon.

-Goalie Robinson earned a game misconduct and was replaced by Fukufuji who finished the game.

-I heard through the grapevine that Robinson’s game misconduct caused some upset among the players and fans causing things to be thrown on the ice. Rumble on the ice anyone?

-Four game-worn Condors Legends Hockey-thon jerseys were auctioned off live during Sunday’s game. Rosebush’s jersey raised the highest total of $2,200.

All in all it was a great Condors hockey weekend but still no Fukufuji Bobblehead for this Condors fan. If anyone would like to donate their Fukufuji Bobblehead to the good cause of making my Condors hockey Bobblehead dreams come true, please let me know.

Hot ABC23 Weathergirl Checked By Number 23 - By N.L. Bobblehead

2007-11-29T10:13:00.000-08:00

I spoke with the hot ABC23 Weathergirl, Christina Loren and she assured me that these were real fisticuffs she was partaking in with the Bakersfield Condors.

Rumor has it she caused more than one Condor to belly flop on the ice.

Don't forget to subscribe to the ABC23 YouTube channel after you watch this action.

Sorry about the weird graininess of the video. Makes it look like Christina Loren is a hot B-movie actress from 1973.

Mike Hart Wrestles A Live Teddy Bear! - By N.L. Bobblehead

2007-11-28T15:29:00.000-08:00

OK, so I could spend this blog talking about the Condors not winning like they should. But I won't. I'd rather spend my time blaming people like Mikie Seay of Fresno for somehow putting a voodoo whammy on the team. Rumor has it he's got dolls of all the Condors players that he randomly kicks around the house.

So why blame poor defense or bad officiating? I say blame Fresno. We're playing them in a three-game stand beginning Friday, so I might as well start picking on 'em.

In the meantime, check out this video I put together at ABC23 of raining stuffed animals and Mike Hart wrestling a giant live teddy bear!

I'd also like to suggest that the Condors lost that game against Phoenix because some of the players got hit with lead-based stuffed penguins.

One last note. Someone tell Kevin Bartl to keep up his blog.

Mike Hart, the jerk, and the curse of the one goal... By N.L .Bobblehead

2007-11-19T18:22:00.000-08:00

Teams have slumps. It happens. But the Condors seem to have a one-goal slump. The coach probably says it's the goalies. Fans might think it's a lack of offense mixed with the occasional defensive blunder.

Maybe it's just the curse of the one goal.

It could happen.

Should I even say more? The question is, will the Condors shake the curse?

It's just a matter of time...

Next topic. You have to check out Mike Hart's blog, "From The Hart." He's the voice of the Condors and wrote a great post about a heckler who should have shut up at the Condors game during a jersey auction. He calls his piece, "Condors Jerseys and the Jerk." Check it out. And leave a comment before he throws his mic into the stands the next game like some kind of Fukufuji samurai hockey warrior.

Nick 2.0 picks On Fresno Falcons Blogger - By N.L. Bobblehead

2007-11-14T10:13:00.001-08:00

I've got so many names now I don't know what to do with myself. Nick 2.0, N.L. Bobblehead, Nick Belardes... Anyway, here's my segment from yesterday where I pick on Mike Seay yet again.

I heard he's been talking smack on the Fresno forums too...

All in good fun. Remember all, trash talk is just part of the game...

Will the Condors get Wrangled? - By N.L. Bobblehead

2007-11-12T16:35:00.000-08:00

I’m not expecting any kind of wrangling unless the Bakersfield Condors do it to themselves. With a 4-6 record, the Condors really aren’t looking so bad after their losing slump. They just seem to be on the losing end of some really close games. Add in some soft goals and the Condors could be sitting with a record as sweet as those pesky Wranglers—you know, that Vegas team I love to hate.

Now I was just talking to Mike Hart (Condors game announcer). I tried blaming all the Condors road losses on him. He would have none of it.

I think both of us just want to see some great passing and goals in the back of the net. Is that too much to ask?

By the way, when did Kevin Bartl get back to Bakersfield? Word on the street is he couldn’t handle scraping ice sludge off his car windows in the morning. I don’t blame him.

Well let’s get ready for the Wranglers. The Condors need our support, and the goalies need to wake up and smell victory. Stay focused, boys.

(Schedule)

As for those Fresno Falcon forums I keep hearing about. I’m not going there to read all their anti-Bakersfield madness. I have a tough enough time harassing Mike Seay of the Unofficial Fresno Falcons blog. Check out his latest tirade against the Condors.

And I wouldn't dare go to a Wrangler forum. It's all the same. Just a bunch of talk. We'll let the three-game series against Las Vegas speak for itself. Series begins Wednesday moring at 10:30am.

Salmon Kings fan brings new rival blog into the mix - By N.L. Bobblehead

2007-10-28T11:16:00.000-07:00

Just when I gave up hope. Just when I felt like the ECHL blog world was like trying to squeeze information out of Myanmar, up springs a new unofficial Salmon Kings blog from the depths of ECHL fandom.

Which means, more trash talk than ever before. Now I'll be able to slap around some fish-flopping big bird talk and someone will respond. Especially since there's a big game slated between the Condors and the fish with the golden crowns for Halloween night. I'm expecting a complete name and logo change after the Condors are done picking fish bones from their beaks.

Mikey Seay, that dreaded blogger from the Big No will also have his hands full as our newfound playmate in Victoria has linked up to both our sites. Of course you can go read about Seay calling me evil for a simple little name flub. Isn't that being a little picky? I mean really, isn't he already rubbing it in because he's practically best friends with Indiana Jones?

Now I'd been meaning to start a search for new rival blogs. Can't ever find them, so I was slow to it. Glad to see Victoria is in the mix...

First Japanese-Born NHL Hockey Player - By N.L. Bobblehead

2007-10-25T15:13:00.000-07:00

This is actually an ABC23 report by our sports guy, Pep. He's featuring Yutaka Fukufuji, who played four games for the Los Angeles Kings last year to make history for Japan. Now he's back for a second stint with the Bakersfield Condors.

I tried to get Pep to talk Japanese. He just sounded like he was eating Cheese Its.

Nick 2.0 picks on the Falcons blogger - By N.L. Bobblehead

2007-10-23T07:05:00.000-07:00

This ABC23 video says it all. Time to pick on the Fresno Falcon's unofficial blogger, Mike Seay...

I know, I have multiple personalities: Nick 2.0, N.L. Bobblehead, N.L. Belardes...

Go Condors!

Pay up, Stockton radio guy, and feed the birds - By N.L. Bobblehead

2007-10-22T11:28:00.000-07:00

I was reading Benton's Blog on the Stockton Thunder website and read about a bet Scott Benton was trying to make over a meal.

Sure, Tim Statezni of the Condors Sales team bashed Stockton recently. Who doesn't, especially when talking hockey?

In his piece, "Don't Feed The Birds," Benton writes,

Me thinks the birds nest in "CondorsTown" is getting hungry. But it's not my job to feed them.

Some folks may want a blog brandishing Stockton's landing of three All-Star Games in a calendar year, abundance of a waterfront events center/new arena/new ballpark, why Stockton outdrew Bakersfield by 33,554 fans in the 2006-07 ECHL year, or that Stockton is closer in proximity to San Francisco/Sacramento than Bakersfield is to its closest major market - Los Angeles.

No sir, not here.

But in the professional sports world, such bold statements must be backed up by a bold will to accept a friendly challenge. Should the Stockton Thunder defeat the Bakersfield Condors in the season opener or the season series, I wonder if Tim will take up an offer, on me, for a meal on the loser?

Guess we'll have to just wait and see.

A friendly challenge? Always good. I just hope the radio guy paid his bet...

- n.l. bobblehead

Hanging out at the first Condor game of the season - By N.L. Bobblehead

2007-10-20T13:21:00.000-07:00

I hung out with Lando and Matildakay at the first Bakersfield Condor ice hockey game of the season. Lando plugged his band's gig Saturday night at Studio 99. He's a crazy kid.

The game was sloppy. The Condors fell behind 2-0 and I thought the Stockton Bumblebees (because they do look like insect uniforms) were manhandling the birds.

It wasn't to be. The Condors came alive and scored a go-ahead goal with less than two minutes remaining.

There was one scare when Fukufuji looked like he'd been stretched into a pretzel. But since he's built from rubber, glue and parts of old hockey and samurai movies he came back to life with his samurai moves and blocked pucks like they were slow moving chocolate chip cookies.

Condors battle the Fresno Has-beens tonight in a big bird bobblehead giveaway...

Make sure you laugh at Mike Seay over at the Unofficial. It's a Falcons blog. Thank goodness their mascot won't be in the house.

Roller Hockey in Bakersfield? And training with the Kings?

2007-05-22T16:29:00.001-07:00

You'll find all the links here.

The playoffs? Fresno and Bakersfield take it to each other... by N.L. Bobblehead

2007-04-17T18:23:00.000-07:00

You can read our latest hockey posts on the Noveltown blog.

You missed, "Big giveaway as Condors reach the playoffs, Highway 99 rivalry gets underway, and Noveltown brings Dirty Spanglish to the Rabobank"

Read, "Fresno vs. Bakersfield round-up: Justin Fahsbender gets Noveltown player of the game while you can win his sweaty claw!"

Then check out where the Condors luck completely takes a turnaround:

"Fresno deflated as Bakersfield Condors take 3-2 series lead after Noveltown's lucky Dirty Spanglish gig"

Thanks again Condors for the big giveaways on Noveltown!

Condors Hockey is good clean family fun - By Matildakay

2007-01-08T23:06:00.000-08:00

Saturday night I took my god kids to the Condors game and watched the Bakersfield Condors beat the Victoria Salmon Kings 6-4. It was a great game. Kevin St. Jacques had two goals and three assists and led the Condors to victory.

Jon Peter Lewis, an ex American Idol contestant who I’ve heard about on the radio, but since I’ve never watched American Idol I didn’t know who he was, sang the Canadian and American national anthems. And there was even a good fight!

But Saturday night’s game was all about the Condors backpack giveaway and my god kids. They wanted their very own Condors backpacks! Shoot after seeing what they looked like this year I wanted one.

It was my godson’s first Condor game. For him it was all about hot dogs with mustard and ketchup, licorice and ice cream. And wanting to know how the Zamboni drove on the ice.

My goddaughter loves hockey like I do and has been to many Condors hockey games with me. She’s even played a little roller hockey. We watched the game while trying to keep my godson content.

The Condors won! My god kids and I had fun. Saturday night was a great night of hockey!

Highway 99 Rivalry gets physical as the Condors beat the Falcons 4-2 - By Matildakay

2006-12-02T17:32:00.000-08:00

I've been away from Condors hockey for a few weeks, but I wasn't going to miss the Highway 99 Rivalry game between the Bakersfield Condors and those hated Fresno Falcons!

I found a seat in the stands just as the lights went out and the Condors burst from the Tuff Shed...

Bakersfield Condors and Colonel Claw'd ready for action!

I looked down at the starting line up... Venedam, Truelson, Irving, and Ianiero, I felt like I had come home to my long lost sons. It was good to be back in Condorstown!

Bakersfield Condors and Fresno Falcons Face off

The Condors were playing good and the first period ended 0 to 0. Goalie Hudson had some great saves!

Hudson in action...

The Condors scored four goals in the second period frustrating the Fresno Falcons to no end.

Watch the Bakersfield Condors score a goal!

At the end of the second period the Falcons were shut out 4-0 and the fists started flying.

One of many Highway 99 rivalry fights...

Quit touching me!

The Falcons came back to score two goals in the third period but they didn't have enough energy left to best the Condors. The Fresno Falcons need to remember they were in enemy territory last night!

And don't you forget it!

Condors fans were loud and cheered their beloved Condors on to victory in the Highway 99 rivalry.

Need more cow bell!

Mike Seay of the Falcons blog could have used some of the Fresno Falcons toilet paper they passed out last night to dry his tears... I'm sure he's very upset over the Falcons loss to the Condors!

Local Poker Tournament to raise funds for hockey travel team - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-11-03T07:42:00.000-08:00

Local Bakersfield Roller Hockey travel team, The Adrenaline Junkies are hosting a Poker Tourney so they can raise funds for team jerseys and travel cash. Check out the details.

Third time is the charm! Next up Alaska Aces - By Matildakay

2006-10-27T13:59:00.000-07:00

I guess what they say is true... the third time was the charm for the Bakersfield Condors last weekend. Last Sunday in the Condors third game of the weekend they beat out the Ice Dogs 5-4 in Long Beach for their first win of the season! Ianiero led the game with three points!

Next up this weekend: the Condors are in Alaska to battle our rival the Aces. I hope they win so I can have bragging rights with my cousins who live in Alaska!

Ritual Condors refrigerator magnet schedule ceremony and Captain Jack at the Condors opening season weekend - By Matildakay

2006-10-25T00:18:00.000-07:00

The Condors season opening game is always about the refrigerator magnet schedule! If I don't get one, my whole season is ruined! I have to be able to find out when the next home game is everytime I go to the refrigerator. Plus there is the ceremonial moving of last season's magnet schedule to the side of the refrigerator and placing the new season magnet schedule in the prime eye level viewing spot on the refrigerator door. It's a girl thing. There is a method to the madness of the arrangement of our refrigerator magnets!

The Condors may have lost to Stockton on Friday night's opening season game, but I got my refrigerator magnet schedule! All is not lost... the Condors season can proceed now that the magnet schedule placing ceremony has occurred.

Did you get your refrigerator magnet schedule?

The Condors fans were out in force being rowdy and loud and showing the Condors just how happy we were to be back in Condorstown!

A rowdy Condors fan...

Captain Jack was in the Rabobank Saturday night for the Condors game against Idaho. Sadly, another loss for the Condors but NL got some great pictures of Captain Jack and he's even holding a coveted Smalltown Girls/Captain Jack photo hostage! He was one of the best look-a-like's I've seen, even better than the Captain Jack at Disneyland. I almost believed it was Johnny Depp in person! See all of NL's great Captain Jack photos...

And now for my new favorite pastime... trying to take photos of the Condors that aren't blurry blobs of speeding mass on ice.

Condors and Stockton taken from the Media Zone...

More from the Media Zone...

Is that a flying Condor?

Here they come...

New goalie Taylor...

Condors and Idaho... Let's hug it out!

Veteran Condor Kevin St. Jacques...

Not Hectic Films, just a camera phone test... By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-10-22T22:56:00.000-07:00

This was just a camera phone video test opening night... We were walking dejectedly form the game while the Condors were down 5-0...

I'm looking forward to a string of wins...

Captain Jack swaggers through Condors pillaged weekend - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-10-22T21:37:00.000-07:00

Captain Jack showed up at the Rabobank Arena during the Condors game against the Idaho Steelheads.

He wasn't a good luck talisman, but he sure made for some fun moments as I trailed him around the arena and snapped a few shots...

Dropped the puck, now he's gotta swagger off the ice...

Talk to me, captain...

Trailing Captain Jack around the arena...

Photo with hockey fans...

Strange to see him so far away from his pirate ship.

Condors go 1-2 opening weekend - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-10-22T21:22:00.000-07:00

Yes, it was ugly. Against the Stockton Thunder the Bakersfield Condors looked drab in a 6-1 defeat. Honestly, it was terrible. Last season the Condors owned Stockton, who I made fun of as "the bumblebees". Whether bees or Thunder, they skated fast, had some sting, and easily zapped the Condor goalie...

Do I know what happened? No. But Mike Seay gained the upper hand in the battle of trash talk after he rubbed in that the Fresno Falcons defeated the Las Vegas Wranglers.

On Saturday night the Condors clearly had too many giveaways for the night, one of them being the game itself. They lost 3-2 in a contest that seemed in the Condors grasp. The Idaho Steeheads swam upstream and took a win from the Condors. Ouch.

Here's a few pics:

Stockton doesn't look too worried...

Idaho with a bouncing puck...

The only victory I saw... Oke turns a Steelhead into fishbait...

Press pass? I'll take two...

More from the Oke fight... slug it out fellas

Is that the Las Vegas Wranglers at the next table? – By Matildakay

2006-10-19T21:42:00.000-07:00

You wouldn’t expect to look up from your dinner plate at the Olive Garden and see the Las Vegas Wranglers seated at the next table. But that is exactly what happened tonight in Condorstown!

I was having dinner with NL, my girlfriend ‘D’, Dirty Spanglish and Dude on the Ice and we were talking about the Condors Opening Season games this weekend when suddenly I noticed a bunch of men being seated at the table next to us. They looked like they were all in their 20’s, some of them were even HOT. And then we noticed that they were all wearing shirts that said Vegas Wranglers.

The Las Vegas Wranglers eat at the Olive Garden in Bakersfield, California

“They’re the Vegas Wranglers!” Dirty Spanglish whispered.

The Vegas Wranglers at the next table! I whipped out my camera phone.

“What are they doing here?” I asked NL.

“We’re not playing them this weekend are we?” Dirty Spanglish asked.

“No. We’re playing Stockton and Idaho.” I said.

“Maybe they’re lost.” NL said.

Just what were the Vegas Wranglers doing in Bakersfield? I wondered.

Maybe they were here to observe the Bakersfield Condors play and see how a REAL hockey team plays. Maybe the Condors were giving the Wranglers skating lessons. Maybe the food in Bakersfield is better than the all night casino buffets in Vegas. Maybe their bus broke down or maybe they were lost after all.

I’m just glad the Condors weren’t eating in the same restaurant or there might have been a rumble West Side Story style.

Hectic Films talks about the Condors...

2006-10-15T19:33:00.000-07:00

Rickey Bird of Hectic Films talks trash on their film blog about the Ice Dogs... check it out:

Well Noveltown and Hectic Films went down to the Condors Game last night. Nick got drunk and punched one of the ice dogs in the face while I was filming the whole time. Nick then pulled some moves that not even Chuck Norris himself could do. I knew Nick was tough but they must have put some steroids in the jalapenos! Anyway my buddy Nick choked out another Ice Dog with a pretzel and then slapped him with a corn dog right in the face. The corn slap was so powerful that it got caught on the side of the dudes face. Not a Problem for N.L. / Chuck Norris! Two round house kicks to the face and it was all over. Ever since last night I have devoted my life to carry Nick around on my back to make sure that he doesn't try and kill me. Hopefully he will only use his powers for good...

Read the full article, "Noveltown and Hectic Films" and see a pic of me on Rickey's back...

The Condors kicked the Ice Dogs back to Long Beach – By Matildakay

2006-10-15T16:35:00.000-07:00

Last night’s preseason game against the Long Beach Ice Dogs was the perfect start to the Bakersfield Condors 2006-2007 hockey season! I must say I was thrilled to see the Condors whip the Ice Dogs 9 to 1!

Colonel Claw'd demonstrates the kicking the Condors gave the Ice Dogs!

9 to 1! God I hope this is a preview of Condors hockey this year!

GOAL! Rabobank's new electric signage...

I love sitting in the media zone. I love being that close to the players, the action, jumping when a puck hits the boards right at my feet. The only thing I don’t like about the media zone is that I have to behave. I can’t jump up and down and act like the HUGE Condors hockey fan I am when the Condors score a goal. I watched the Condors score 4 goals during the first period while sitting in the media zone. That’s a lot of behaving! I should get kisses from the players for behaving so well!

It was great seeing all the returning players scoring goals last night. Irving had a hat trick, Bolduc scored a couple, Ianiero and Balan scored goals too, so did rookies Stewart and Griffith!

The Condors are back in Condorstown!

It’s going to be a great season…

Pre-season cool down as Condors freeze Long Beach Ice Dog paws to ice - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-10-15T15:56:00.000-07:00

So the Vegas Wrangler fan is rubbing it in that his team won both pre-season games.

Doesn't matter.

Why? Because the Bakersfield Condors destroyed the Ice Dogs, shattering their Ice Dog egos in a wild 9-1 smashing. Lucky for the Dogs such humiliation was only pre-season.

A big shout out to Irving with the hat trick... If I hadn't moved to the bell tower rafters I would have chucked my hat on the ice...

Here are some pics from the game:

The losing goalie. Ice Dog Blues in big FREEZEDOWN.

Game on!

Ianiero with the puck...

Blogger blademaster Kevin Truelson. Don't forget to read some of Jake "The Snake" Stevens posts as well...

Ianiero wants to humiliate the Ice Dog trash can goalie

Hectic Films' Rickey Bird takes a break from filming the action to eat some red vines...

Bust him in the chops!!

More entanglement post-play...

Rickey Bird says, "We're filming hockey episodes for Zowietown!" He was in the house last night, sizing up the action. We brainstormed ideas and even hung out with Matildakay...

Condors lose to Ice Dogs, but Fresno loses to the Thunder? - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-10-14T15:39:00.000-07:00

This entry is for Mikie. His mighty Falcons just got rolled and plucked by the Thunder...

Condors are in Bakersfield tonight against the Ice Dogs for pre-season action.

Let the blogging begin!

-n.l. bobblehead

Who will end up on top in the Highway 99 rivalry this year? - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-10-10T10:55:00.000-07:00

What else can I say?

Hatemail from Las Vegas: a letter from a Wrangler fan - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-10-07T13:50:00.000-07:00

The Vegas Wrangler's #1 Condor hater now lives in Nebraska (Don't ask). But that didn't stop him from sending some congratulatory hate mail.

Read on:

Well, I guess I know what the shudder from the west was last week. It was California shaking upon hearing the news that the Wranglers have joined the Pacific Division.

I guess the league had to do that to split up the two top teams in the league from being in the same division. It's also going to make for an interesting race for 2nd place in the Pacific.

Although many of our players have progressed out of the E, we'll still have a great team and the two best goalies in the league.

So there you have it. My fearless prediction for the upcoming season. Be afraid!

In the meantime, I'm in Nebraska waiting for the AHL to get going and see some Knights games.

Until next time,

Art

PS: Celebrate now while you can - you're undefeated!!

I guess that means the Condors are going to have to rise to the occasion and show old Nebraska Art who the division champions are going to be.

And can Art be any more pathetic? Now he likes the Omaha Nuggies, the Vagrant Wranglers and the Duck Canucks...

Yikes.

Matildakay on Bobblehead on Condors! - By Matildakay

2006-10-05T21:44:00.000-07:00

That’s right boys; a girl is invading your hockey blog! A girl obsessed with Bakersfield Condors hockey and Condors hockey players! There will be talk about HOT hockey players. And I won’t be taking any crap from NL or Mike Seay, you all better get used to the idea that girls are obsessed with hockey too!

Some of my favorite players from last year’s team are going to be back this year and I’m looking forward to seeing Kevin St. Jacques, Sean Venedam, Reagan Leslie, Andrew Ianiero, Josh Liebenow, Kevin Truelson, Alexandre Bolduc, Mike Hofstrand and Scott Borders play again. I have yet to be at Terrio Therapy Fitness at the same time as Scott Borders but I know that the first Bakersfield Condors Fresno Falcons game is going to be an all out war avenging game 7 of the playoffs and Scott Borders’ injury.

I’ll tell you right now the loudest and most loyal hockey fans are in Bakersfield! I just love listening to the roar of 8,000 Condors fans at the Rabobank Arena. There is no other sound like it on earth.

Condorstown is one of my all time favorite places in the world! I'm looking forward to the 2006-2007 Condors hockey season.

Is it hockey season yet??

Bakersfield Condors blog is gearing up with a few surprises - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-10-03T10:31:00.000-07:00

There's a Falcon Burger on this menu...

The new Bakersfield-Fresno highway ice hockey rivalry is heating up. Mikie Seay in Fresno is already up to his dirty tricks by posting unfair fights on his crappy Fresno Falcon’s blog.

And big flying deal. There was a big NHL game in the big NO. So what, Mikie? So what? It’s about the Condors avenging a game 7 playoff loss. There’s no other meaning to this hockey season.

Well, except for serving up a delightful dish of Freddie “Kruegar” Falcon. Chicken anyone?

And more crap from Fresno: if you look closely in this blog entry from Paperback Writer you’ll see an entry from Dorktown that takes a stab at our precious Condors.

Enough about the BIG NO for a moment.

What’s going to happen this season on N.L. Bobblehead on Condors?

We have a treat for you! Matildakay is now a member of this blog. She’ll be writing entries about Condors from a girl’s perspective. You know all that crazy butt talk that I won’t touch. Fuggedaboudit. Let Matildakay talk it up.

Hectic Films is also going to be in the hockey house. Yes, that means Zowietown, Noveltown and Hectic Films are all getting together to bring more entertainment straight into your homes.

Stay tuned.

-n.l. bobblehead

Condor Hockey in just a few days...

2006-09-28T09:15:00.000-07:00

I'm jumpstarting this blog. Do you hear the engines revving up? Can you hear the Fresno blog whining? Those punks are in on this big Highway 99 rivalry and guess which bird is coming out on top?

-n.l. bobblehead is back

Fresno Falcons clone bird mascot for new "Mass murders on ice capades" half-time show - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-07-27T15:44:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I blame the mascot for the big injury in game seven last year in crummy FresNO. Yeah, the big no no.

Well the trash talk is starting early.

Let's hope Freddie Kreugar Falcon stops eating fans.

FRESNO FALCONS SUCK!!

-n.l.

Rumorville: Fukufuji and Bonk? -By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-07-27T15:38:00.000-07:00

What's this rumor? The famed Samurai of the ice slice, Fukufuji back in Bakersfield? And Dave Bonk refusing to report to Phoenix? He WANTS to play in Bakersfield where the fans are as rowdy as a 1950's Western movie saloon?

I say heck yeah!

What’s the scoop on Bakersfield Condors Scott Borders’ leg injury? - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-05-08T20:06:00.000-07:00

Scott Borders is in St. Agnes Hospital in Fresno, California after suffering a double fracture to a femur during the Fresno-Bakersfield game seven match-up. He underwent surgery yesterday and should be returning to the ice in 3-5 months. The big question on my mind is, what happened? Was there bad ice in the big “NO”? I put a phone call into Devin “Patchboy” Rossiter, the Condors Director of Broadcasting and Media Relations just to ask that question.

Devin indicated that ice conditions on the night of game seven were comparable to conditions during the ECHL all-star game held at the Save Mart Center several months ago. “The ice definitely wasn’t to the conditions with Fresno when concrete was exposed in an earlier game… I think we have to attribute Borders’ fall to losing an edge. He lost his balance from going to the puck hard and his momentum carried him into the boards.”

I phoned one of my other media contacts who saw a replay of the incident. “He clearly lost his balance, and it looks like his leg fractured when he went into the boards,” said Puck from The Puck Show.

But was it bad ice?

Scott Borders fell off balance, skidded out of control and shattered the toughest bone in his body—the mighty femur. I’m talking about a bone so tough that cavemen once used them to knock out Mastodons.

It still could have been the bad ice.

I’m telling you right now I have never personally seen a hockey injury as strange and as devastating (except for a broken neck I once saw on television). Although I have seen a near roller hockey equivalent. Just ask one-time roller hockey MVP Landen Belardes (AKA The War Days director, Dirty Spanglish). He has quite the championship hockey game injury story, where his team was losing 4-3, he scored all his team’s goals, and then suffered a severe injury along the boards which resulted in the rest of the game being cancelled. Are you aware that you can die from a broken femur? A femoral shaft fracture always requires surgery where an intramedullary rod is inserted into the bone marrow canal. Not pleasant to contemplate at dinner, breakfast, or just after a fall while losing an edge, or on “bad ice”.

Intramedullary rod fixation for repair of an injury to the femoral shaft.
Copyright 2004 Axis Arts

Should the game have been cancelled?

Only if there had been bad ice, which sounds like a difficult case to prove in the instance of Scott Borders devastating injury…

In the meantime, do yourself a favor and root for the Fresno Falcons over the Alaska Aces. You don't want the old Scott Gomez team to win, do you?

And if you're going to blame anyone in Fresno for bad ice, try this bird:

Tragic “bad ice” injury worsens Condors game seven defeat - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-05-07T11:03:00.000-07:00

I put on a back luck jersey hoping it was good luck: a Condors jersey signed by the much hated Scott Gomez of the New Jersey Devils who played for last year’s Alaska Aces. I was hoping it would symbolize a 3rd round match-up between the Condors and Aces. Instead, wearing the jersey symbolized fiery words, emblazoned on cloth: that Alaska was all over the next round, not the Condors.

What was I thinking?

And I brought chingpea, whose curse has been attending four straight Condors losses. She even warned about the curse and threatened to stay home.

What was I thinking?

Outside Fresno's Save Mart Center, Condors fan
Emily Tebow threatens an estranged Fresno Bobblehead...

The road to Fresno isn’t nearly as long as the road home. I put up my share of trash talk throughout the series in a fun online bout between myself and Fresno blogger, Mike Seay. Heading into Fresno I made sure to call Mike to see if he was coming to the big game in the big "NO". He was trapped in Modesto on work and so we had to settle for a little bit of trash talk and a friendly wishing of good luck to each blogger’s opposing team.

“Good luck to your freakin’ Condors,” Mike grumbled.

Before the game, chingpea, Matildakay (Smalltown Girls Podcast)and I ate across the street from the Save Mart Center at the Dog House Grill. Condors president Matt Riley was in the house and asked if I had been to the game the night before.

Condors president, Matt Riley

I also said hello to Joel Irving, a scratch for the night (does that mean benched if they’re healthy?). He seemed a bit bugged, gave me a short reply and said, “Let’s get out of here,” to his buddy who had been standing in line. This was a much different Condor than I saw in the locker room after game 7 with Long Beach. But then, Puck had been doing the interviewing that night. Most of the Condors have no clue that I help promote them. And I typically don’t wear a team jersey. So I probably looked like an annoying fan looking for an autograph. Either that or he was already annoyed for possibly being benched and didn’t want anyone to ask why he wasn’t playing.

Just before the puck was dropped I snapped this photo that
captures Bakersfield's Scott Borders in the upper left (#14)

The game was exciting with an intense battle that kept the game within one goal. There were a lot of Condors penalties which gave Fresno the upper hand. That didn't mean the game wasn't close, intense, and great. But then the unthinkable happened, and I’m still trying to figure out just exactly what I saw. Condors player Scott Borders skated past the blue line in toward the Fresno goal when he just went down, slid across the ice and smashed into the boards, his leg possibly shattered. Rumors flew into the stands that it was his fibula. Was it? Chances are, if that’s the case, then his tibia may have broke as well. The way he pounded the ice, myself and a nearby Fresno fan knew his leg was broken.

(Read the full article)

Freddie "Krueger" Falcon threatens rampage after two Condor victories - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-05-06T07:27:00.000-07:00

I can only imagine how pissed the Fresno Falcons, their diehard fans, and the Unofficial are today. They probably all rolled out of bed, having lived a nightmare two games straight. Two losses straight I should say as the Condors squeaked out another win. Last night I was glued to the radio, listening like a doubting fan when one of my kids said, "Why are you worried, the Condors are winning tonight." And then he went skating down at the Bakersfield Ice Sports Center as if he didn't have a care in the world, while I sat by the radio squirming with each call of Devin "Patchboy" Rossiter's KGEO 1230 play-by-play.

Freddie "Krueger" Falcon threatens to eat us all after Fresno's big loss

What a game!

The first back to back game sevens in ECHL history right here in the HIghway 99 rivalry, the biggest rivalry in Central Valley sports. Except that attendence was low last night; under 4000! Could it be those terribly overpriced seats at that big ice chest of a pavillion, the Save Mart Center, with its crappy Dodger Stadium Parking and medicinal halls? I noticed the Fresno Falcons don't even get a photo on the arena homepage, just a little logo on the sidebar. Brittney "Fishhead" Spears even gets her photo on a FresNO page. Ahh, the big No! Falcons denied!

Fresno Falcon's Budzone fans help the Fresno community as a great local charity, but are seen here wondering if their mystical rubber chicken taunting powers have begun to fail...

What will Mike Seay say?

What will all those Fresno fans do today as they toss and turn in their seats sweating a round two loss to the Condors?

Who will win tonight?

What will their evil mascot bird, Freddie "Krueger" Falcon do? Is he eating little Fresno fans as he flaps his furry arms in panic??

The trash talk continues...

THE CLAIR SHOW! - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-05-04T14:02:00.000-07:00

Read all about THE CLAIR SHOW!

Sorry Falcon Road Kill Sandwiches

Victory in game 5...!

Take that you greasy falcons!

Vegas lets down Condors. N.L. cries - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-05-03T14:24:00.000-07:00

Just read this on the Vegas site:

"Las Vegas, NV The Las Vegas Wranglers were eliminated from the Kelly Cup Playoffs by Alaska, 4-3 in triple overtime on Tuesday night. The Wranglers appreciate the support of their fans."

Thanks Vegas Wrangler fan for a great season of trash talk!

Now go and cry cause the Condors are still in it! Ya yahoo!

-n.l.

What will Freddie Kruegar Falcon think now? - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-04-29T09:36:00.000-07:00

Bakersfield routed Fresno in the Rabobank arena last night at one point going up 4-0. Final score? 4-2. And the series? 2-1 in favor of the flappy Fresno Falcons.

Here's big-headed Freddie right before gobbling up little Fresno fans.

Here's Fresno player Clair as he was served up to the Condors last night like a delightful pastry.

N.L. in the Big “No” for the Fresno-Bakersfield Highway 99 Hockey Rivalry - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-04-27T12:08:00.000-07:00

Highway 99 was as dusty and flat as always. We drove through Central Valley farmland, past almond groves, herds of dairy cattle and vineyards, only to flip through talk radio and crack jokes.

We were on our way to the big “No”, Bakersfield’s Highway 99 rival in more than just hockey. Sure, hockey games between the Bakersfield Condors and Fresno Falcons are always a nasty affair. Fans yell and scream and hope for nothing short of a blood bath on the ice. Americans more than just love the Ridley Scott film, Gladiator. Many of us relish the toughness of a sport in an arena that pits men with sticks who punish each other for 60 minutes. Blood on the ice is a bonus that invigorates the tamest of hockey fans, and is rarer these days.

Fresno Whiffleball king

Sure, some of my readers are pacifists, They’re folks who scream “Food, not bombs!” and they will ignore this article. But there is a Highway 99 rivalry and hockey is a great way to display such competitiveness.

Myself? I’m of a fiery competitive spirit. Give me a game of checkers and I will trash talk as I try not to lose. I once played chess regularly with a combat veteran who was also a schizophrenic. When he was focused he fought chess just like a war. He hunkered in his chair, his eyes focused like a cat. He read playbooks and offered game strategies that escaped the game board itself. He wore big feathery hats, or a favorite Indiana Jones hat; he offered beer, or sat with Hustler magazine, trying to throw off my game and my attention as we sat in a courtyard in downtown Bakersfield in the mid-1990s. He pitted himself with middlegame strategies that were as mystic as the spiritual themes in Gladiator. “Toss some sand in the East to hide the sandstorm coming in the West…” and so on…

Find the rubber chicken

Although I play less hockey these days, the same spirit is abundantly there. And I brought it with me as I entered Fresno to see game two between the Bakersfield Condors and the Fresno Falcons.

With me were several fans: kids from Dirty Spanglish, Dude on the Ice, and Matildakay. chingpea was going to try to attend but couldn’t get off work early enough to make the trip.

Meeting us in Fresno was Mike Seay from Dorktown.net. He and I both write trash talk hockey blogs here in the Central Valley uplifting the local ice hockey teams in our hometowns. Mike wore a hat and brown jacket and we sat and ate some grub across the street from the Save Mart Center before walking over to the game.

The Save Mart Center itself is a huge facility that stands like a big mall out in the middle of the countryside near Fresno State. According to Mike that’s all going to change as an actual mall type atmosphere is supposed to spring up around the complex. Inside, the stadium is massive, though less friendly with an almost hospital quality: bare, clean, stone, bright. The rink itself was like a big empty hospital room where the Falcons perform cold surgery on their victims, Bakersfield no exception. No banners from the rafters like there are in Bakersfield.

(read the full article)

Fresno hockey blogger's talk is cheap - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-04-25T13:58:00.000-07:00

Yes, they called me up, but only to put the crunch on Fresno hockey blogger, Mikie. The game's on. Let the battle in the stands and trash talk get tough during tonight's big kahuna playoff game...!

-n.l.

N.L. heads to Fresno to pick a fight with Dorktown - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-04-25T08:55:00.000-07:00

N.L. 'Bobblehead' Belardes will be in the house up in Fresno for round 2 game 2 of the Highway 99 rivalry between the Fresno Falcons and the Bakersfield Condors. Will the Fresno blogger be in the house as well? Will we fight in the stands? Will the Condors come back from a first game loss to avenge this very blog?

I listened to the game on the radio last night. Looks like Bakersfield lost the first period but held their own in periods two and three.

Of course being down 3-0 after the first period didn't help.

I was hoping for ruts on the ice.

Let's hope the Fresno team plays to their loser potential tonight.

-n.l.

N.L. secretly tape records Fresno Falcon blogger about their upcoming 2nd round paranoia - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-04-24T10:25:00.000-07:00

It's on. Yes, the biggest sports rivalry the Central Valley has seen in years is in a region of washed up football memories. No, Frank Gifford won't be around to talk about the cracked and weathered old Bakersfield Memorial Stadium or his aged football tales of the Bakersfield Junior Rose Bowl Renegades. Forget Bakersfield-Taft. That's ancient history. There won't be any Fresno State Bulldogs doing any pissing and moaning about their big tackling of the PAC-10, unless it's squirting on newspapers on their own turf.

This is a hockey rivalry that doesn't show off local talent, but international talent in two premiere ice hockey teams from the ECHL: The Bakersfield Condors against the Fresno Falcons. Local Fresno chicken bird blogger, Mike Seay, who deleted an entire interview with me over this seasonal rivalry is already talking smack. Yes, Mike, I know you have been deleting all my calls to Dorktown because you're a Bakersfield hater. In a secret taperecorded meeting I have clear audio of Mikie saying, "I would be surprised if the Fresno cluckers could win the second round. All the Fresno players have been drinking Vodka like Kool-Aid, and sleeping with the mascot. Why? Because they fear the Central Valley's true hockey predator, the Condors. In fact, we can't even get the ruts out of the ice in our big carnival side show Save Mart Center... and our coach is really a woman... hey, is that a recorder pen??"

"Oh no. This is just a regular old pen."

"By the way, stop calling in to my show, Nick."

"Why, so you can keep deleting them you dirty rotten Fresno of the big NO!?"

"Hey, quit calling us the 'NO' you armpitville fag."

"Piece of farmtown shit! You're in the armpit too!"

"Heehaw hick!"

"Fresno Famous butt licker!"

"That's it! It's on!"

"OH you know it, asshole!"

Condors in 7.

Condors historic win on Buck City Podcast and nlbelardes.com - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-04-23T21:01:00.000-07:00

Listen in as the Bakersfield Condors make history by defeating the Long Beach Ice Dogs in a historic game 7 of round 1 of the Kelly Cup playoffs... scroll down for images from the game...

THIS IS A SPECIAL ONE-HOUR PODCAST. BE PREPARED FOR A LENGTHY DOWNLOAD.

Listen to music exclusively from the Bakersfield hockey CD. Order NOW

You can subscribe to the Buck City Podcast. Go to iTUNES and check it out... or plug in the feed to a player.

Or you can just download the MP3 of Episode #35: 'Ice the Dog'

Episode 35:

-Hear N.L. and Puck from The Puck Show do play by play as they watch the COndors in a nail biter of a game

-Listen to N.L. interview Dirty Spanglish about being on Damaged TV

-Check out controversial discussion about referees and more!

-Hear N.L. talk to Condors president Matt Riley about Devin 'Patchboy' Rossiter's mohawk. Does Patchboy need antibiotics??

-Get in touch with N.L.'s attempt at play by play as Puck steals the show

-Join N.L. and Puck in the locker room with a bunch of naked hockey players after the end of the historic win...

THIS IS A SPECIAL ONE-HOUR PODCAST. BE PREPARED FOR A LENGTHY DOWNLOAD.

Check out nlbelardes.com for images from the game...

A note of interest on the Vegas Bakersfield hockey rivalry from a polite Condors fan - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-03-26T11:56:00.000-08:00

This was the nice version. No, really, there's a lot of love between the Las Vegas Wranglers and the Bakersfield Condors:

Read this letter from the Postal Conspirators:

Speaking of Brokeback Mountian you guys are called the WRANGLERS. Not to mention you guys are famous for Liberace, Elton John, and Wayne Newton. The sad thing about your team is the fact you live Vegas and all you smalls brains could come up with is "WRANGLERS". In a city built by mobsters and people spending the last of their families money on gambling and all you have is "WRANGLERS". Bugsy was rolling in his grave when he heard "WRANGLERS"!!!! As far as the playoffs go I'm sure if we play the "WRANGLERS" we'll keep our heads up. Only cause we can't expect the refs to protect our players from the dirty players from Vegas. Maybe you should talk to Scott Gomez and ask him how his playoff experience against us went. Keep your head up BITCHESSSS!!!!

Did Brunelle take a two-handed baseball swing at a Wrangler tonight? - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-03-24T21:33:00.000-08:00

I was listening to the Bakersfield Condors - Las Vegas Wranglers game for part of the night. The Condors were losing 3-2 and there was some kind of big hit on Brunelle. Not long after, the Las Vegas Wrangler announcers started crying about their clicker pen being stolen, and then about Brunelle needing to be thrown out of the building (The Orleans). What were they going to do, throw him onto the casino floor where all the washed up Wranglers hang out and feed their pocket change into slot machines? According to the announcers, Brunelle literally tried to wrap his hockey stick around the head of a Las Vegas Wrangler. I imagine him striking the same pose as the Wrangler logo, blade high above his head and ready to do a hockey-style decapitation... but there was no penalty... was it even true? Did Brunelle take a cheap shot swing with his hockey stick that would mash brains? I've had two people do that to me in hockey games over the years. One connected on my neck. I couldn't talk for a week. The other glanced off my helmet...

I wasn't at the Bakersfield Condors - Las Vegas Wranglers game. You make the call.

-n.l. bobblehead

Las Vegas Wranglers on a mission to win 'best schleprock' oscar - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-03-24T14:49:00.000-08:00

And they have my vote!

I never liked the Las Vegas Wranglers. I don't like their name. I don't like their glossy-eyed up-too-late in the casino ice skater swagger. I don't like to see them at buffets or at David Cassidy shows. I don't like their brokeback wrangler cartoony logo that looks like Jack Twist is about to lasso Heath Ledger with a slappity-do hockey stick. I don't like Tibbets, even though he is long gone from the Wranglers, and I don't like the Wranglers wranglefied name that sounds like some kind of crunchy cowboy breakfast cereal.

What I will like is if the Condors whoop their yippity-ha hineys tonight at the Orleans.

What I recently liked was the fights I saw the other night with the Bakersfield Condors taking it to the Stockton Bumblebees in sudden death overtime. I was hanging out with Kenny Mount and Matildakay and we had a great time stuffing our face with churros, popcorn and soda and watching the Condors give fisticuffs to the boomless Thunder.

Now I know they're the Stockton Thunder, but please, they have no zing in their lightning bolts; no zip in their zap. They've had a fizzled season at that. Kick them to Fremont. Toss them to Chowchilla. Stick them in a cow pasture near Merced.

The Condors are heading to the playoffs on a roll. Gotta dig that.

-n.l. bobblehead

Rocky Nash and thousands of Bobbleheads get together for madcap hockey game - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-03-19T10:03:00.000-08:00

Oh yes, the Condors are going to the playoffs, even after a dismal loss the other night to the Stockton Thunder, er, bumblebees. You know the blog entry, the one where I wrote the only good Stockton Bumblebee is a squashed Stockton Bumblebee? Yeah, that’s it. Well last night was the Phoenix Roadkill. They call themselves the Phoenix Roadrunners, but we all know there’s only one true Roadrunner team, even if CSU Bakersfield is lame for not having football or hockey programs.

Band night had been a long lucky streak with the Bakersfield Condors going 5-0 before hitting a 1-3 losing streak. That all changed last night with the Phoenix team looking like Wile E. Coyote finally caught his bird (only after a steamroller called the Condors crushed the “Meep Meep!” right out of the little flattened feller). That means the Condors are 7-3 on band nights with bands playing to more than 65,000 of the rowdiest hockey fans ever created. Oh bless my soul, please support and purchase the hockey CD now. Noveltown needs you.

Heroic St. Jacques ze bobblehead le oo la!

Heroine Rocky Nash ze very sexy le oo la la!

Oh yes, Rocky Nash performed. Read the rest of the story here.

The only good Stockton Bumblebee is a squashed Stockton Bumblebee - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-03-13T21:57:00.000-08:00

"Get up you bumblebee."

"I said get up, you bumblebee."

"Get up now you bumblebee!"

oops, sorry...

The Return or N.L. Bobblehead - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-03-13T16:03:00.000-08:00

Where have I been in the world of roller hockey?

I didn’t write about my last dismal performance. I think we won one game and lost one game.

Then there was a hockey bye week.

And then I didn’t show up because I was at a Las Vegas trade show. I tried to get back in time…

As a result I got a nice email from the Postal Conspirators:

Dear Mr. Absentee,

The meaning of "absentee" as defined by Webster's Dictionary simply means "one who was not there". With a loss in the first game (6-3) of the Monday Night League, New York composed itself in a classic come-from-behind win in the second game(6-5). It was quite a feat to overcome the "BOB" factor. Luckily, Montreal (of the Monday Night League) has more BOB than they can shake a stick at.

The point of this email is tell certain persons that have a problem with commitment (and I'm talking about hockey too). This person was the one who says, "I can't skate long because I haven't skated in awhile." He should sleep good tonight knowing than Nikki was able to score just to show that she can take up what little slack he left. Not to mention the three-point game her husband had just to ensure he keeps his stats above the mind-blowing miracle "Bean". I just hope that Mr. Absentee graces us with his presents next Monday to put on a show of his own. I think his 2 PIMs cannot possible be a career high for him.

If that isn’t enough, I haven’t been writing enough about the Condors and did give them a brief mention in a dark Bakersfield Bukowski piece. Yes, the Condors lost to the Stockton Bumblebee Tunas.

I also noticed that Devin 'Patchboy' Rossiter has grown some serious facial hair… Is the play-by-play guru totally Grizzly man or what?? I will take a photo real soon for all of you…

Hey Channel 23, they're growing up fighting in Romania too - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-03-03T13:47:00.000-08:00

Now this is a hockey brawl. I think I see some Bakersfield fans in the stands.

Maybe channel 23 can show up in Romania and see if they had a guaranteed fight night. Special thanks to the Vegas Wrangler fan for sending in that great hockey battle video.

-n.l. bobblehead

What's up channel 23's hockey-hating holier-than-thou ass? By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-02-28T07:26:00.000-08:00

Channel 23 wanted a boycott of last night's debacle against the Fresno Falcons? I like what Riley had to say...

Talk about inciting a fight? Doesn't channel 23 realize that fighting is part of hockey?

And not one gun is involved.

Hell, Spiderman is violent. And talk about spending too much time covering senseless violence. They're the media for crying out loud. The media thrives off violence in society. Another killing: higher ratings; a catastrophe: higher ratings; famous person dies in a car wreck: lets try to buy the pics off the paparazzi and show them on 23 news for higher ratings...

Give up the holier-than-thou asshole approach, 23.

Hell, the governor was in less violent movies than what the media covers on a daily basis...

Oh yeah...

Biggest sport of the winter Olympics: hockey... the premiere event and the most violent whether there are fisticuffs or not.

Top news right now on 23 at the time of writing this? Let's give it up for violence! Check it out:

News:
Local Soldier Falls Victim To Roadside Bomb
Two Dead Following Plane Crash
Wind Storm Blowing Through Kern County
Manhunt Underway For Shooting Suspect

Who does 23 think the Condors cater to, gangbangers? There's a big difference between violence on the streets where kids carry guns, and a fight during a Condor game that might promote rough and tumble hockey, but does not promote gunslinging, gang fighting, killings and war. As if such gangbangers are attending hockey games getting their thrills to go out and cap someone. Try drug and territory street wars, 23. Those gun-toting kids are too busy shooting each other to attend a hockey game! I wonder how many on the 23 staff own Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Give that up before you give up a good hockey game.

Now that I've said my peace, I just put out a call for Growing Up Fighting: Vol. 2... oh yes, it's all about hockey and fighting. More punk! More local music! More songs about hard hits and fights. I'm not ignoring the side of hockey that scares newscasters. I'm a realist. People cheer during a good hockey fight. It's the spirit of hockey that includes such roughness.

Get me on the air, I'll tell those fake hairdo talking heads on the news what I think about them picking on the Condors...

San Diego Gulls go Jonny Weir Pinkville - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-02-22T13:39:00.000-08:00

Tell me this isn't so? I expect this kind of pink jersey Jonny Weir thing in Transvestite-laden Vegas; but San Diego?

The truth is out. The Mary Kay Ash Boys are... well..

The flamers are San Diego hockey gamers.

There, I said it.

-n.l.

American hockey team splatted - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-02-22T10:56:00.000-08:00

America loses in Olympic hockey...

4 games by a goal...

go Finland!

Sucks.

More to come on my tirade about some of the players representing America's so-called best.

-n.l.

Noveltown, the filthies, the Condors and Growing Up Fighting - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-02-19T09:05:00.000-08:00

What a Friday and Saturday night combination punch at the Rabobank Arena. Friday night I headed down to the Rabobank to watch the Condors in a 4-0 first period run over the Idaho Steelheads. Of course, pesky Idaho had to come back into the game. Fish-slopping turned steely ice hockey players, Idaho brought it to the Condors, who had to settle for an overtime win.

Reagan Leslie heads to the penalty box after getting tough...

There were tough face-offs, quick goals, and even my favorite player Reagan Leslie had a great game. His overtime shootout goal kept the Condors in the hunt. Saturday night was a tougher game against an Idaho team the Condors had been whooping a lot. Reagan played a little too deep into the zone. Getting back on defense was tough and so that contributed to the Condor’s Saturday night loss. But Saturday wasn’t about losing. Saturday nights in Condorstown are a winning combination of fisticuff hockey, great music, and great charity moments.

Coach Marty Raymond just before he encouraged
the crowd to continue their chant of "Ref you suck!"
during Friday night's horrible officiating.

The shriners were on hand selling tickets for the
big Condor dinner and auction coming up tonight at
the Crystal Palace. (Call 661.831.4476 for details)

Saturday night home games for the Bakersfield Condors had hit a high note a few weeks ago with Dirty Spanglish in the house. Kenny Mount of the Filthies had helped out that night in a big 50 CD giveaway. Now it was the Filthies turn again. Kenny ‘Motor’ Mount, Jeremy ‘Gus’ Gustafson, Kelly and big mean man Guppy were all fired up for the event. And so were the 7,264 fans on hand.

Kenny Mount singing "Condorstown"

Who is this strange fan who dances and hands out T-shirts???

Can't see hockey without food from the All-star grill...

Filthies’ drummer Guppy sipped his beer while Colonel Claw’d the Skater and he both pounded drums during the first period action between the Condors and the Idaho Fishbait (Steelheads). They sent the crowd into some raucous cheers with their bomp bomp pah… bom bomp pah crash sounds…

Everyone got fired up.

Pretty soon I ran into the Postal Conspirators. Oh for the love of hockey… They talked some trash, but then did say that Dirty Spanglish sounded great a few weeks before. Can’t beat that. When an event is memorable, that means success. Noveltown’s success for being the business behind the hockey CD has been a hard-earned partnership between The Bakersfield Condors and Noveltown to provide exciting music, a killer hockey CD, and fun family times all around. Noveltown even provided 20 CDs for The Filthies to hand out right after their performance. Kenny Mount was in shock, “We can’t give these away! These are money! 20! No way!”

Gus from the Filthies

Soon the Filthies jumped into their song, “Condorstown”. I went and hung out down below the band and sat with the folks from Kerngamers.com to hear the punk sounds smash like a hockey fist into the audience. Little kids and big kids danced, and during the “Skate, Fight, Skate Fight!” segment, arms were raised and fans were rowdy. I dug the energy…

And then I saw it. Big and fat on the jumbotron in a mad moment of Noveltown ecstasy: the CD cover artwork and Noveltown promo on all four sides of the jumbotron while Kenny Mount sang and Gus ripped and shredded his guitar in a rural rock punk moment that I will never forget. The jumbotron glowed a baby blue. “Condorstown” itself glowed with the pride only a hometown hockey team could ever have. The song radiated with energy that infected fans with the idea that “Hockey and music in Bakersfield, California rules supreme.”

This image on the jumbotron promotes the new
look Noveltown will soon have...

Noveltown does need your help to raise funds. CDs are on sale in the Condors arena, and online at www.noveltown.net. Support local music, support local hockey. Check out the press release. And if that isn’t enough, check out a few of the places from where people have been buying BAKERSFIELD hockey music from Noveltown just this weekend:

New Cuyama, CA
Bakersfield, CA
Suva, Fiji
Bellflower, CA
Las Vegas, NV
Biloxi, MS
Dayton, OH
Woodbury, MN
Caledonia, Ontario
lake isabella, CA

Get a copy and help support music, hockey, and the literary arts, all here in the Southern San Joaquin.

Slovakians mop up Olympic arena with U.S. hockey heads - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-02-18T15:16:00.000-08:00

What can you say? With allowing weak-hipped Alaskan skaters like Scott Gomez, how can U.S. expect to ever win a gold medal?

Put in the college kids and the real minors. Put in players who are underdogs, whose effort would be gold even in a big Olympic loss.

Put in the Vegas Wranglers for pity's sake!

Did I just write that??

-n.l. bobblehead has spoken

Bad Luck Bob strikes again - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-02-17T14:27:00.000-08:00

Tell me it isn't so, Bob. Tell me it's all a bad dream.

The U.S. women hockey players got crushed by the Swedes.

-n.l.

More Condor bad luck followed by good luck rout of Pelican Briefs - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-02-16T07:21:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness Bad Luck Bob's curse seemed to have ended as the Bakersfield Condors routed those nasty San Diego Pelican Briefs 3-1. But that wasn't until after I found out many Condor fans were left with broken hockey hearts on dreaded V-day when Scott Basiuk was sent packing in some cockamamy trade that has young fans wandering the streets of Bakersfield with only memories of his greatness...

Week five roller hockey blues with bad luck Bob - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-02-15T21:19:00.000-08:00

I should be at the Condor-Gulls game tonight. But how can I go? I've been in mourning ever since Monday night, ever since Big Bob Neath started a lengthy hockey curse by going 0-3 at Rollerama.

That's enough reason to switch from hockey and have a disco ball skater party. But enough of neon lights and boogie woogie macarena in-line dance marathons. Let's talk about the boon of hockey, poor Mr. Neath's bad boy curse. Yes, 0-3, including a stint on my team Monday night. Sure, we won our first game. Yours truly had a Gretzy moment (non-gambling) and finally buried one in the net. That's goals on ice and roller two days in a row! Yes, the miracles were pouring like local hockey puck slinger Devon Brown sucking on a bottomless beer keg. But then, I am a washed up player trying to get back into the mix.

Anyway, Bad luck Bob helped our team out and we lost... That was his third loss of the night. Our first.

And then the U.S. Olympic team didn't win against Latvia. The humanity!!

All Bob's fault. His curse went global.

How could I go to the Condor game after such a week? How could I face Bad luck Bob out in the parking lot if the Condors were to lose to the Pelican Briefs from San Diego?

Let's just hope the curse is lifted by tomorrow morning...

In the meantime, I am being chastised by the Postal Conspirators of the local Rollerama Hockey League who have some rather vile trash-talk for old N.L. Bobblehead. I will say it is a low blow to dig up an accidental high-sticking from a few years ago to Nikki's husband, Mark (The true Postal bad boy). He only needed 82 stitches, right? And I think I was pushed into him. Wasn't my fault, I swear. Read on...

Alright "mister verbal sniper" you asked for it... It is just too bad your hockey shot wasn't as good as your verbal wrist shot. As far as that tiny little bruise you gave yourself it doesn't compare to the 6hr emergency vacation I got. You really can put the stick to face. You would think you would be able to put pen to pad. You are just lucky Nikki couldn't find the phone after reading the lies that were published. "I STILL HAD BEAN", she cried out to the top of her lungs!

P.S. "I will not conform to your come-from-behind-victory frame of thinking. It will be 'win in the begining' or 'lose at the end'!" postal quote of the week...

Quote of the game: Our goalie needs a beer

US Olympic Hockey US vs. Latvia in Torino - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-02-15T14:49:00.000-08:00

Tied Latvia?

What ever happened to the good old days when college kids got to go represent. Where are the 1980 Olympians when you need them?

What a joke. America will be lucky to get into the medal round.

-n.l.

Author on the ice makes breakaway goal - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-02-13T17:37:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I was stiffed in the celebrity ice game a few weeks ago. So what? Old N.L. Bobblehead came back with a vengeance Sunday night in a big scrimmage at the Bakersfield Ice Sports Center.

I was asked to play with the thugs on Black Magic, a local hockey team made of plenty of goons and gals. Tough guys Bob Neath, Brick Wall, Devon Brown, and Bill Graham were in the locker room talking smack before the game. Gotta love the pre-game trash talk. Devon pretty much called out everyone in the facility to feel his hockey wrath, even me. I gulped air like a fish out of water, no good comebacks.

Why not? I hadn't played ice hockey in a year. Heck, I hadn't even strapped on the ice skates in a year. But if I'm ever going to make that celebrity ice hockey game, I gotta actually get my game on.

After a crappy first 40 minutes, I finally listened to Bill, who pulled me aside and said, "You're confusing us. Play your position!"

Damn it if I wasn't too tired with only one sub for the entire team (I played on the white jersey side against trash talker Devon). I couldn't skate to my position!!

Nonetheless, the good 'talking to' got me fired up and I came out with a breakaway and scored 5-hole style. The rest of the game I stood in my position like a deftly trained trash receptacle while guys like Mark Braun took the puck end to end burying backhanded sling shots of fury.

Looking forward to the Condors this Wednesday night take on the crappy pappy slug gulls from San Diego. Those sea birds are playing like a bunch of water-logged pelicans. I think the Condors will have an easy win of it...

Trash talk from every angle including the same team - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-02-10T06:38:00.000-08:00

I just had a realization about the leading online trash talkers from Vegas and Fresno. They both love the Canucks. Although that nasty Wrangler fan is from Vancouver and speaks highly of Stanley Cup Riots that he was a part of, the Fresno podcaster I think was born in a fig garden on the outskirts of Chowchilla and has only 'rioted' by throwing dirt clods at passing trucks.

And oh yes, the trash talk did start in the land of the lousy Fresno Falcons. If you're man enough, go comment on his site about how the Falcons are going to be playing Spongebob hockey with the hapless Stockton Thunder.

In other news, the trash talk is even coming from my own roller hockey teammates over the entire hockey postal conspiracy. I just got this email:

Leave it to a writer to come up with a fish of a tale. Like the about how a quiet little man scores a goal and how a defenseman named Nikki couldn't stop it. When in all actuality Nikki was defending against the puck holder. The quiet little man (commonly known as "bean") had no problem slipping right under N.L.'s grasp to become wide open for a clean yet accidental goal...

All I can say is, yeah, Bean was the puck holder the whole time flying up the left side, Nikki's side. But she stopped to tie her shoes and do her nails. I of course was skating with all my hockey might toward the net, only to be tripped by Nikki who wanted Bean to score...

Otherwise I would have stopped him for sure.

Week Four: Bob gets the best of me - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-02-08T07:20:00.000-08:00

There I was, just off a big Rollerama game where there were big hits and big attitudes. I had two assists in the game which pushed me into a tie for 12th in the big Rollerama Hockey Club standings (I'm tied for first in penalties. What's up with that?). But now our team simply labeled "New York" had a big kahuna game with dreaded "Montreal".

I was looking for a peaceful game. Something with flowers and candy kisses. Maybe we could even cruise to an easy victory as I finally got on permanently with my "New York" brethren.

Not happenin'. It was a close game, a tough game and just when I thought I had a defensive whiz of a moment, all hockeydom came crashing down.

Let me just start off before describing this 'integral moment of the hockey night' by saying I hate when other guys get the best of me. As a hockey player you always want to get the best of the other guy. It's a tough hockey world out there. Forget that a sugary disco ball hangs over our heads while we play, this is a rough and tumble sport often filled with brutish results.

Ahh, the unfairness of it all when I swung around the blind side of 8-foot-tall league owner, Bob Neath during out smash-face game. It was a great defensive play. I fought valiantly for the puck in a surprise attack to Bob's left side. I think I startled him because he grumbled something then slashed me with his stick, knocking mine about 3000 miles away, far enough to spear into the soft sands of an isolated lake near Timbiktu.

And then the whistle blew.

"Slashing on N.L. Bobblehead."

"What?" I yelled. "That brute is three times my size!"

Same team. Almost the same bad call as last week. To think I slashed a guy who dwarfs hockey goon, Brick Wall. I'll tell you a penalty. Try standing in front of Bob when he takes a slap shot. Might as well be under the ax when Gladiator Maximus is splitting heads like Play-Doh logs. Now that should be banned or punished with 12 penalties.

I whined. I moaned. My teammates told me to shut up. There was even a "Hey that ref is blind!" from high up in the bleachers.

Lucky for me Bob missed his penalty shot. But that didn't change the fact that he got the best of me after what I thought was a great defensive play-of-the-game kind of move.

In the end, that's just good hockey and I told Bob, "Man you got the best of me." Gotta respect that.

*****

In other news, the postal conspirators have been revealed as Nikki and Mark Hutchinson. Can you believe hockey players will stoop to trashing fellow teammates on the Internet? How dare they! I cry foul play! There's certainly some trash talk going on for that one lousy goal against team New York. None other seems to matter but that one goal Nikki let into the net. Forget that she says, "I was covering Bean!"

Poor Bean, the guy's been dragged into this sordid hockey controversy... for what?

Because Nikki can't face up to a poor defensive moment.

Granted I was having a poor defensive moment too. But that's beside the point.

Quote of the game: "Was Bean ever in a movie?"

Pictures of Dirty Spanglish at the Rabobank - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-02-06T23:10:00.000-08:00

Check out the photos of Dirty Spanglish, Patchboy, Kenny Mount, Colonel Bird the Skater and more...

Here's a few, but go check out the rest.

Oh yeah it was a great night... except those Vegas Wranglers found a way to cheat and win again. Why do they do that? Because they can? Because they're from Sin City, the land of naysayers and cheatin' gamblers? No offense docsports.com :)

Stay tuned for another Roller Hockey episode...

-n.l.

Reagan Leslie, Kevin Truelson and Dirty Spanglish are stars of the game - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-02-06T08:02:00.000-08:00

Rarely do I ever say, "That was one of the best nights of my life." Last Saturday night was just that... let me dry up my teary eyes for just a moment, blow my nose like a foghorn and describe for you my experience...

Thanks to Patchboy (see a sleepy patchkid) I had the honor to help in the vote to pick the three stars of the game at Saturday night's crashfest between the Bakersfield Condors and the Las Vegas Wranglers. During the third period of the game I rushed up to the pressbox to turn in my three numbers. I was nervous. I felt like the entire game was hinged on how I picked the stars. Forget that I picked one Vegas Wrangler whose name I can't pronounce. He didn't get picked, so I am just crossing that one out anyways for a sudden shoe in for the second star of the game. I did pick first and third and was proud to see both defensemen out on the ice after the game:

Third star of the game: Reagan Leslie. He's not tall, but he's got 180 pounds on him and a low center of gravity that when used to its potential can crush even the biggest skaters. He's one of the fastest skaters on the team and a tenacious 'in your face' defenseman. I saw him put a hit Saturday night on a Las Vegas Wrangler that sent popcorn and Pepsi flying like little cartoon stars around the head of the skater he crushed. I think the staff are still scraping him off the ice.

First star of the game: Kevin Truelson. This guy was a great trade for the Condors before mid-season. He's a solid player and his 200-pound frame is a menace on the ice. Why? Because he has follow-thru. He doesn't give up, and that's why he prevents goals and scores like he did last night in the Condors near win. He carries the puck to the net when he has to and can pick up the trash and slop it into the goal.

Second star of the game: Cross out those worthless Las Vegas Wranglers. It's time for some fan-band recognition. I'm giving this one to Dirty Spanglish, surprise star of the Rabobank Arena last Saturday night...

Here's why:

Imagine being 14 years old. It's your first rock band. You and a group of young punks you've known for several years suddenly decide to form a band. You ask your dad while driving in a car, "Got a good band name?" Two seconds later as a joke your grumpy old man belts out, "Dirty Spanglish."

He laughs.

You love it.

Sure, you've grooved in a steel drum band and marched down crazy Bakersfield streets blasting a clarinet wearing a cheesy uniform, but this is different. You have a guitar. You have drums, you've tinkered on a bass and suddenly find out your dad is putting together a CD of hockey songs that half the bands in Bakersfield think is a crazy idea. You don't. You've been listening to punk hockey songs since that LAS VEGAS WRANGLER FAN gave your dad punk hockey CDs in Las Vegas featuring those Canadian punksters, The Hanson Brothers. (Yes, it's true. Art Whitton, that nasty jerk-face trash-talking ass-wipe Canuck is responsible for inspiring N.L. Belardes to love hockey songs. Buy the CD and see his name on the CD itself. Now available!). But you're a hockey fan, and you like punk music, especially the pop side of rural rock punk. So you go for it. Over Chinese food at China Palace your dad comes up with a bunch of goofy ideas for hockey songs. You come up with one about referees. It's a fun song with a line that your dad sings around the house at morning chaotic shower time when three men fight over the bathroom, "You shoot like your grandma's mom!!" You tell him to shut up and soon you get the song recorded and suddenly have a date to perform at the Rabobank Arena for your first ever gig. First ever gig??

No, playing in the garage doesn't count. Dirty Spanglish' first ever gig was at the Rabobank Arena last Saturday night (February 4, 2006) performing to thousands of people: 5,799 people to be exact.

Don't get big heads.

I do have to say that out of all the bands performing so far, Dirty Spanglish had the crowd going the wildest. That's why they're the stars of the game. They won over the fans. These youngsters from Bakersfield High and Stockdale High had groupies, had CDs to give out and performed flawlessly.

Kenny Mount was on board along with Gus from the Filthies to do the sound for their performance. Both Gus and Kenny coached Dirty Spanglish before the game as they warmed up down at the Filthy Lair before the show. Yes, I listened to 89 renditions of "Zebras" before the fans only got to hear it one time. Oh yes, the Filthy lair is a hidden downtown studio with a shag black couch, posters and vintage guitars on the wall, and an entire room with a mock stage built in, it's just perfect for any band about to tour Europe to practice in. Thanks for the Minute Maid lemonade, Gus!

We all showed up at the Rabobank at around 5PM. We pounded on the glass doors screaming, "Don't you know these are rock stars?? Let us in!" They finally did. Kenny and I were going to go straight for the food, but had to wait to set up the equipment, dial in the band, and perform a quick run-through.

I thought Patchboy and ex-NHL player (Assistant Coach) Mark Pederson were going to come up and pound all the rockers for blasting their music so loud. They were trying to record an interview to be played on the Jumbotron before the game. No brass knuckles broke out, so all was well. The band got back into it and I was impressed with the sound.

As were the fans. Kenny did an impression of how to play keyboard for the Doors, then gave the thumbs-up. All was ready for the big performance.

The game was on; thousands of fans were in the house cheering for their beloved hockey team as the Condors and Wranglers smashed each other like crazy. Then suddenly the period was over. After some moments on the ice with the announcer, suddenly the spotlight went on. The announcer belted out, "As part of our special Saturday night home games, brought to you by N.L. Belardes of Noveltown and the Bakersfield Condors we bring you Dirty Spanglish!!" Oh and it was so on right then. There was a big drum solo by new member, Doug. He may look like a mild-mannered kid who puts action-figures on his high hat for good luck. But he's more than that. He worked the crowd into a frenzy with his fast-pounding solo and ended at just the right moment for The War Days director to tear into his opening riff... Oh yeah, the band jumped into their rural rock 'pop punk you can dance to' song and Dirty Spanglish was born.

Lead singer, Shaun Alaniz, who plays the guitar and sings, screamed more than his good looks into the microphone. He belted out the anti-referee song "Zebras":

You skate around, you think your cool
If you want to play hockey go back to school
We will trip you with our sticks
And we'll get away with our hits
We will punch you in the mouth
The play-offs are coming you can't stop us now
You can't handle us too long
You shoot like your grandma's mom
You would make zebras.com
And no one knows who the penalty's on...

After their performance there was a roar from the crowd. I stopped taking pictures and cheered. Girls screamed, "Dirty Spanglish!"

I wasn't expecting such rousing applause for this youthful band, but they won over the crowd like crazy. Some of the members of Dirty Spanglish went around handing out copies of Growing Up Fighting: Bakersfield Hockey Vol 1 in the first ever giveaway of the CD. The War Days director sporting his 'Filthies' T-shirt handed them out like Christmas candy and threw one like a Chinese star that practically took some unlucky fan's head off.

Afterwards, we all hung out on the Condor couch. I was sitting with Matildakay, Gus and chingpea when the spotlight suddenly turned on us. I guess some other fans were supposed to be sitting on the Condor couch. They called out his name and I hid behind my coat: "And sitting on the Condor couch is... don't hide... unless you're not..."

I wasn't.

I hid just like the War Days Director did when throwing the CD like a warrior star. What a night. What a ride. It was the perfect band night ever and after the stars of the game were introduced I rushed home to play Dirty Spanglish on the CD player just to get a taste again before the night came to an end...

*images coming soon!

Bobblehead gets first official advertiser DOCSPORTS.com - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-02-05T12:37:00.000-08:00

Not only did N.L. Belardes A.K.A N.L. Bobblehead inspire another ECHL fan blog for a rival team. I also inspired a little gambler action.

Bobblehead on Condors welcomes its first advertiser, Docsports.com. Sure, you have a little extra money and you want to bet on games, big or small... Now you have an outlet. And a sneaky one too.

Tell your wife you're just seeing what's happening on the N.L. trash talk blog. Then click on hockey odds or hockey picks on the sidebar and go spend a little cash.

But don't blame me.

I can't help if you want to become rich the old-fashioned way.

-n.l.

A new Fresno Falcons blog to trash talk - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-02-05T12:28:00.000-08:00

Did I inspire more trash talk in the valley?

Tell me it isn't so?!

Oh it's on... The Fresno Falcons now have what I'm calling an official trash-talk fan blog. Don't let them think they're going to get away with a presence in the valley without getting slammed like the little hockey girls they are... I'm running over to comment right now...

Fresno Flappers and the Las Vegas Wranglerettes both suck.

But stay tuned. I'm writing a blog all about just what that punkass Vegas fan really means to Bakersfield hockey.

You are in for a real surprise...

-n.l.

Week Three: The Postal Conspiracy and the curse of the Belardino

2006-02-01T22:22:00.000-08:00

Sure, I can honestly say now that I am not the pride of the local Bakersfield roller hockey league. Forget Bambino's Curse. I'm 0-3-1 with one assist and no goals with no hope in the clouds of a sunny day's scoring fest. I have to face the facts that it's just going to take time to get back into shape, to make a goal, to tie my skates without grunting...

To watch the Condors without wincing... ouch.

But now a setback: separated ribs. One thing I noticed about the upgraded Rollerama is the floors are a bit stickier. So when you fall, make sure your pads are on straight, cause you're gonna smack the surface. And I did... phhhloooppp!! Twice I was tripped, with the first falling on my own glove and feeling the 'pop!' of ribs and the crackling of cartilage the rest of the night.

Sleep sucks. I didn't need to sleep at night anyways.

The second trip resulted in me getting a penalty shot which I flubbed.

And who can sleep knowing full well about the local roller hockey Postal Conspiracy? Oh yes, there is something amiss ever since a fated moment last night where a postal worker's wife cost my team a major score and pushed me even further into my depths of the 'Bakersfield hockey curse'. Why? Because she blamed me. It was her fault. She was asleep at the wheel, putting on make-up, writing love letters to her postal worker hubby, and filling out valentine's day cards, all while playing defense. I swear.

Oh read this post someone mysteriously emailed to me who had read this cryptic message on Bakotopia with the strange subject heading of "I SEE YOU N.L". They talk nice, but then...

Let me first start with some praise for you online innovators. You are the spiders that keep the Web connected...Next time I will have a few words to say about the whole Postal Shooting Incident...

Oh yes, it is a strange message to say the least, almost as strange as my outburst at a referee last night in true Dirty Spanglish fashion for bad refereeing... I was accused of practically molesting a guy with the name of Brick Wall who is about ten feet taller than me. Right, you're already getting the picture. Impossible.

Conspiracy. It's small town thuggery.

Postal Shooting Incidents and bad calls and big brutes named Brick Wall who I couldn't wrap my arms around if I tried...

Oh I whined and complained in good hockey fashion.

Did me no good. At least I'm tied for second place in penalties.

So much Tom Foolery.

See you in week four.

Dirty Spanglish, kids mad at the referees... By N.L. Belardes

2006-02-01T22:19:00.000-08:00

Skywalker hates the Wranglers but loves Dirty Spanglish - By N.L. Belardes

2006-01-31T14:52:00.000-08:00

Have I mentioned lately how much I hate the Las Vegas Wranglers?

I hate them. Imagine Anakin Skywalker saying, "I hate them" about those dreaded sandpeople. Yeah...

OK, now for hockey game music news:

The War Days Director, Pablo Esquival, call him whatever you want. I call him my punk kid... and I'm proud of him because he's playing the Rabobank with his buddies in Dirty Spanglish, a bunch of 14-year-olds performing their anti-sports officiating hockey song, Zebras! Sound by the Filthies...

Flier made by the Condors...

Dirty Spanglish fans can get discount tickets for the game against the Vegas Wranglers...

Puck drops at 7pm. Dirty Spanglish will be performing around 8pm. That's early enough to attend and still make all the other gigs you plan on attending that night.

Bakersfield Roller Hockey moments to be proud of - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-01-28T12:41:00.000-08:00

Rollerama hockey was never so cruel... yet fun. Come and join...

Mark 'The Postman' Hutchinson looks on...

Goons...

Hockey sluts...

Mr. Braun, a forlorn Broncos fan about to rip the puck from the ref's grasp. The ref ate too much pizza before the game and nearly hurled pepperoni chunks.

What's the deal? Why are the Condors winning? - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-01-28T12:20:00.000-08:00

A win against Utah tonight would make for three wins in a row for the Bakersfield Condors. Next thing you know I'm going to be put on a permanent roller hockey team roster and actually win a game myself (I can't help it that I'm dooming my 0-1-1 teams).

Maybe it's the Condor cowbell issues getting resolved between bell-ringing houligans and gentle game-goers that's created this new rash of wins. Maybe it's our own goalie and defense, stepping up, or an offense that lacks stars like Connor James... Could a Condor star be developing before our very eyes? Who would that be?

I wish I would have snapped a photo of that historical treaty between the rough and tough bell ringers and sappy pappy nay sayers...

Well, three cheers for loudness. My own kid's band, Dirty Spanglish will be rocking the Condor house Saturday, February 4th. You can eve get discount tickets...

Week Two: Bakersfield Roller Hockey Diary for the washed up hockey player - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-01-25T19:23:00.000-08:00

This week it was all I could do to stretch for an hour before the big return to league play at Rollerama. If I hadn’t? There would have been hell to pay. My knees would have been screaming. My shoulders would have popped out of their sockets, and I would have ended up a pretzel for sure, just from trying to do a hockey stop.

Now I didn’t bring a cowbell, and my kids weren’t even around, so I just wandered in and skated around in warm-up. I talked to Glen Mear’s wife Amber for a while. I tried to talk to hockey player pals, Mark and Nikki Hutchinson’s kid, but just made him cry. Whoops.

Of course I’m not even really on a roster. I’m one of two floater players. I fill in on the teams who need an extra skater. So it wasn’t very nice of me to get an assist in my first game and have the league owner suddenly say, “Can you put on a white jersey and play for the other team?” I had been playing in a vintage black Kings jersey. “Sure,” I said. I changed teams to the side I was trying my best to hate and suddenly had to switch my hate for the previous team just so I could have energy to skate a one-minute shift. It’s a ‘for fun’ league after all.

“Hey, maybe your points can follow you to the team you just switched to,” one brute of a hockey player said.

“Sure, I don’t mind,” I smiled.

That game ended in a tie. I guess I had the assist on the tying goal on the opposite team. Whoops again.

In my second game I made a few good defensive plays. But we lost. And I had zero offense. Back in the day I was good for one or two goals a game.

0-1-1 is my record, with no goals and one assist. Not even a penalty. I did shove one chick hockey player in the head. But I don’t even think she felt it. I was feeling rather weak having just seen Brokeback Mountain a few days before…

I’m looking forward to week three. I’m thinking I might have two goals and a good game from being regular with my geritol and vitamins all week!

Right.

Quote of the game: “Can you skate outside the building. Cause you’re making me look bad.”

Back in the Bakersfield roller hockey saddle again: Week One - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-01-24T19:58:00.000-08:00

Week One:

Ahh, I remember back to those whippersnapper days of Jastro Park, where Mike Butters told me once that I was “tenacious”. Now that was the kind of hockey pep I needed in my young 20s, those days of youth now replaced by sore knees and elbows and a group of folks all together at the local Rollerama to play in the Neath League, better known as the Rollerama Hockey Club. Check out the policies. I think there's something in there about 'no cowbell'.

I had taken a year off, but now I am back in the hockey saddle to get in shape and lose some of the French fries I have been accumulating around my stomach area since taking a year off to promote the local music and art scene and my own dastardly novel.

This was pre-season game night. My legs were stiff, my elbows crickety, but I still had a few moves in the tired old bones. Very few. My favorite quote of the evening? One of the referees skated past and said, “I feel my pizza comin’ up.”

Classic.

I had one goal and two assists. But none of it counted. Like I said… pre-season. That sucks. The next day I was sore as hell.

Historic night for Bakersfield underground hip-hop as "Hat Trick" is performed in the Rabobank Arena - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-01-24T19:44:00.000-08:00

The exciting part about putting a CD together is trying to get bands into the Rabobank Arena. Performers just want to perform, to get the message outabout their own brand of music; that means the bigger the crowd, the better. When King Mark, Caleb Kelly and St. Patrick performed at the Rabobank last Saturday night I was just excited as I could ever get about being a part of a music-driven project like Growing Up Fighting: Bakersfield Hockey Vol 1.

It was another victory for band nights and the Bakersfield Condors. With only one loss on band nights and more than 30,000 fans exposed to Bakersfield bands over a series of Saturday nights, I was just as proud as the rappers as I was the Condors for kicking some serious ass over the fish-flopping smelly Victoria Salmon Kings. Of course the hip-hop/trip hop Bakersfield scene has been officially exposed, so I’m expecting good things to happen: some hip-hop burning in the underground passages of the Pizza-a-go-go with the Kerouac of K-Mart overseeing all the jams. Only if he can make a few dollars I'm sure. After all, big Jon Coley is a business man. Slip me some pizza, Jonny K!

It was a great night for music. The rappers jumped into their song, threw hats into the crowd, and got everyone pumped for hockey and hip-hop! I wanted to fly over the boards and score a hat trick on those punk Salmon heads... Oh yes, there were 6,330 fans in the house...

Fans flocked in the halls after the performance of the song "Hat Trick" to get a glimpse of just who these three rappers were. The hippest of the family were around too; all the sweetest folks and hugs were all around.

All the rappers signed a few autographs and hung out in the halls for some great camraderie. I was sad to see the band and its fans left the game early. But then so did I to finally go check out Monty Byrom, so I was guilty as well.

Give it up for hip-hop hockey song, "Hat Trick". It’s sure to be a long-lasting hit in the Rabobank Arena…

Next up: FEBRUARY 4th is The War Day's director in his band, Dirty Spanglish performing their anti-hockey official anthem, "Zebras". Who knows, maybe Pablo Esquival will show up with a copy of Lords: Part One... oh yeah, plug it, baby, plug the arrrrt.... do you hear me?

More cowbell, please - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-01-24T19:32:00.000-08:00

All I have to say to this cowbell complaint is, MORE COWBELL, Cause I got a fever and the only prescription is more COWBELL!!!(Yes, click on the video)

Typical of a losing war you find divide and conquer from within. Next thing you know the mighty Condor empire will fall and be renamed the Baby Quiet Tweetybirds and everyone will have Tweety Pillows and little sponge wings that flap and don't make any noise at all...

I blame the Condors fiery mascot, Colonel Claw'd. He's the loudest in the house with the bell... probably grew up in a strange nest with lots of metallic objects shaken in front of his golden beak.

You're a bad, bad bird...

-n.l.

Plant a hockey garden, get a Rosebush - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-01-16T12:12:00.000-08:00

I wasn't at the game last night but I heard the fans were going nutsoid over the return of Paul Rosebush. What's this? The Michael Jordan of Bakersfield minor league hockey coming out of retirement?

That gives something for the fans to cheer about. Although more Ws would help along the way...

I'll just say this: I'm sure the Bakersfield Condors were supposed to win, but you know how it is when a bunch of Floridans sneak swamp water into the gatorade bottles.

Now if we could just get back Yataka Fukufuji and Connor James, all would be right in the Bakersfield Hockey universe.

-n.l.

Tragedy to triumph, the KooKooNauts play Rabobank during hockey battle - by N.L. Bobblehead

2006-01-12T09:18:00.000-08:00

The KooKooNauts had all but given up their lives as young rock stars. These punk boy wailers, all in their teen years had etched their place in the history of Bakersfield punk rock. How? By playing their own brand of hardcore punk all around town. In churches, in the pizza-a-go-go, at the Boiler Room, in freaky parks where the Lords of Bakersfield myths dwell, on college campuses, even in the outskirt dusty towns in the Central Valley.

In 2005 their music was played on local radio while mysterious punk writer, Johnny Davenport etched their names in a historic punk piece that made its way into underground papers and websites. Then later in 2005 there was the big attack on lead man Bryan, who with a broken skull nearly lost his eye after a brutal unprovoked beating at the Montgomery World Plaza. Through nlbelardes.com news of the attack reached around the country.

Bryan is the voice and energy of the KooKooNauts. Without him leading the way, the KooKooNauts would be no more than a figment of the music scene, another lost band to 2005 Bakersfield band break-ups, and old N.L.s "Kookoo for KooKooNauts" on KRAB radio would have been soon forgotten as a lost Sunday night echo with Danny Spanks.

I talked to Bryan's dad not long after the attack and begged him to coerce the KooKooNauts into creating a hockey song, and to tell them I would do all I could to get them into the Rabobank Arena to perform their song during one of the Condors hockey games.

Bryan came through. He got a newfound music-driven energy and recorded a song with the rest of the KooKooBoys at Rubber Tree Studios titled, "Birds of Prey." The cut barely made the CD. But before Bryan new it, tragedy turned to triumph and the KooKooNauts were booked to play during the first intermission at the Rabobank Arena during a Condors/Alaska game January 7th that was sure to be as brutal as an unprovoked punk bashing.

It was the perfect night for the KooKooNauts. Aliens showed up in the cold January night and I snapped a few photos of the mysterious craft landing where these alien punks drifted into the hockey game crowd to play Ramones songs and KooKooNauts tunes. The game itself was as punk as punk ever is: hard-hitting and filled with triumph, tragedy, and a little anarchic behavior. The Condors nearly had those big jerkoff Alaska Aces. There were elbows to faces, fast skating, a big heroic comeback followed by lousy defense and goaltending in a big loss to the Anchorage team. Bryan waved a banner and the team mascot came up and banged on the drums in the only display of 'Bird gone punk' I've ever seen.

The KooKooNauts performance after the first intermission was pure punk fun mixed with the energy and angst of teenage years, clearly showing the upside of youth in these fun-loving punkboy antics. "Birds of Prey" got a cheer from the more than 7,100 fans on-hand to see the hockey-punk action with Bryan jumping at the end of the song in excitement.

The game itself displayed frustration in a lone Pepsi discarded right to the ice as if a fan said, "I give up on this trash can of a game." Sure, that broke the undefeated band night, but a 7-1 band night record is nothing to laugh at; and that was followed up by an ass-whooping of Idaho on Monday by a feisty Condor team that as Birds of Prey really did show they can circle the ice and swoop in for the fish kill.

I smiled after their performance. Whenever do you see big spiked punk Mohawks in a crowd filled with Bakersfield elitists and little kids with big wondrous eyes that never laid eyes on the Bakersfield underground? Thanks to the KooKooNauts. Last Saturday night in Bakersfield was surely their own historic night to be a part of the Bakersfield music scene and hockey punk culture.

For lots of photos of the event, click here.

*side note from KooKooNauts: SEE THE KOOKOONAUTS ON T.V. The game will air continuously on channel 99 On Bright House network until Friday, Jan. 13th 2006 at 12:40 A.M.. KOOKOONAUTS ON T.V.! Kookoonauts are part of the N.L. Belardes record project Growing Up Fighting: Bakersfield Hockey Vol. 1 As part of the promotion, the bands on the CD are plying at 1st section break of the Condors games, right after the T.V. commercials. The Kookoonauts played last Saturday night to 7,142 Condors fans. Brighthouse filmed the game and also the Kookoonauts indoor performance of "Birds of Prey", the new song on N.L. Belardes record project. The Nauts were also televised do their song and some antics with Colonel Claw'd, the Condors mascot.

Zamboni Zombie drivers needed - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-01-10T12:20:00.000-08:00

Wanna be the new Zamboni Zombie?

Oh yes you do...

Connor James Bobblehead goes up in stock - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-01-09T15:29:00.000-08:00

Connor James, the best player I have ever seen wear a Condor's uniform played for the LA Kings the other night against the San Jose Sharks in a 3-2 loss. He won two face-offs, got a shot on goal, and played 14 shifts. He's the first Condor to ever make the NHL. Wow...

Why did he make it to the big leagues? The Kings own his contract and they have 10 injured players. Yet they keep winning...

I think my Connor James Bobblehead just went up in stock.

Trivia: the above photo is my pic on the Connor James Bobblehead.

I wish now Rocky Nash would have created their hockey song, "Bobblehead" per my original lyrics and title: "Connor James is a Bobblehead". But then, a lot of folks just don't understand my vision... it happens. At least I got the Filthies to mention him in their song, "Condorstown", although Kenny sings "Connors", instead of "Connor". Yet, it's still my tribute to my favorite Condor's player ever. I have never seen anyone like that kid touch a puck and fans literally go crazy. OK, well Fukufuji was really cool too. I tried to get a song just about him too...

Stay tuned for write-ups on the KooKooNauts in the Rabobank and the big loss to Alaska.

Sucks to lose to those fishheads.

-n.l.

KooKooNauts on undefeated band nights this Saturday - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-01-06T12:56:00.000-08:00

Will the Condors win on the next band night? 5-0 when bands play and 6-0 if you include the first time they played the hockey CD in the Rabobank. This Saturday, January 7th, the KooKooNauts will be playing "Birds of Prey", one of my favorite songs from Growing Up Fighting: Bakersfield Hockey Vol. 1.

It took a while to talk the KooKooNauts into being a part of the CD. They were on board at first, but you know how punk high school kids get. Their focus turned elsewhere. Then there was the big attack on Bryan, their lead singer. I think something changed in his life where he gained focus and in a matter of days suddenly had a hockey song.

His is a success story. He's gone from almost losing an eye and having been tragically attacked to his big comeback this Saturday. To go from injury and sadness to playing at the Rabobank arena during a Condors hockey game. You just can't beat it!

Go support this kid and his cool band, the KooKooNauts. I'm kookoo for KooKooNauts! I just linked up some special priced seating tickets for the game. Go check it out and see a cool kid punk band who I have never seen before. And then pray that the Birds of Prey will pull through and continue their unbeaten streak on band night!

New Year's eve on Buck City episode 22 as the Condors smash the Stockton Thunder - By N.L. Bobblehead

2006-01-03T20:46:00.000-08:00

Oh yes, you can subscribe to the Buck City Podcast! Go to iTUNES and check it out... or plug in the feed to a player.

Or you can just download the MP3 of episode #22.

Yes, it was a great night for a Buck City Podcast as Fatt Katt and the Vonzippers performed to 5,100 fans at the Rabobank arena. That makes for more than 30,000 fans seeing bands perform at the Rabobank to promote the hockey CD! On episode #22 of Buck City, listen to N.L. trash talk the Stockton Thunder hockey team and interview Fatt Katt and the Vonzippers as the Bakersfield Condors go 6-0 on UNDEFEATED band nights...

There's more:

Listen to the War Days Director and N.L. make fun of the Stockton Thunder's lame team colors...

Hear N.L. interview Fatt Katt before the game...

Listen to N.L. as he travels to the pressbox to interview Condor's broadcaster Patchboy but meets Stockton broadcaster Mike Benton who makes punk excuses for the Thunder's jerseys.

N.L. interviews Patchboy and wonders just what it takes to be a good ol' boy celebrity and get invited to a celebrity hockey game...

Hear N.L. interview the sponge claw guy

Find out at what point of the game Condors president Matt Riley spikes his Pepsi

Listen to drunk hockey players with pink hats reminisce with N.L. over old wounds

Get down with the V.I.P room interview with Fatt Katt and Styx from Fatt Katt and the Vonzippers as they talk Growing Up Fighting: Bakersfield Hockey Vol. 1, hockey songs, Buck Owens, and their forthcoming Fatt Katt CD... Does Fatt Katt get nervous about the Condors possibly losing??

The show ends with some good trash talk and happy New Year's wishes from N.L., the War Days director and Matildakay.com...

Hockey and Crystal Palace on Buck City Podcast Episode 21 - By N.L. Bobblehead

2005-12-31T14:21:00.001-08:00

Oh yes, you can subscribe to the Buck City Podcast! Go to iTUNES and check it out... or plug in the feed to a player.

Or you can just download the MP3 of episode #21.

Hear n.l. call the play-by-play as the Fresno Wingless Flappers take on the Bakersfield Condors and lose in OT...

There's more in this episode:

Meet the war days director as he calls Zebras "slime"

Hear as N.L. meets the alleged 'book burner' mom at the Rabobank arena

Listen to N.L. rant about Johnny Depp and Sleepy Hallow Lane

Hear N.L. scream "Goal!" like a Telemundo TV announcer

Find out why episode 21s entire episode is dedicated to Dorktown.net's Mikie and Bells.

Then, after the game at Buck Owen's Crystal Palace hear N.L. interview Preston Nash of The Puck Show as they talk about the new hockey CD Growing Up Fighting: Bakersfield Hockey Vol. 1, Matt Riley of the Condors, and Preston's amp-smashing show...

In the final interview, hear Puck talk about Fatt Katt and the Vonzippers. Hear Puck scream at Fatt Katt, and about the Puck Show's new streaming audio during their weeknight shows from 4-7PM on KGEO...

Is N.L. sneaking fans into Condors games? - By N.L. Bobblehead

2005-12-29T15:23:00.000-08:00

Hell no I am not letting folks into the game for free. How would I? Why would I? I did have foreman elf accuse me of that very thing at the last game which really disturbed me. I brought hockey fan and writer, Matildakay and a photographer with me to the media zone for just one period, so they could take photos and write about the Condors from an ice level perspective... And they both paid to get in. I was lectured. I complied and sent Matildakay away for the first period to sit by herself.

No wait, I guess I am guilty of helping bands get into the arena for free this season.

Wow. I work hard to promote the Condors and hockey. It's sad to think a security guard can cause problems saying I was letting in people for free and overcrowding a very undercrowded media zone. There were maybe two people in the zone after we left. What is this security guard telling people?

I hope this is my only criticism of the Condors organization this season.

Now leave me alone, I have some Fresno bobbleheads to go cook.

-n.l.

Fresno Falcons on the menu again? Get ready for the first hockey podcast out of Bakersfield - By N.L. Bobblehead

2005-12-28T17:20:00.000-08:00

I was thinking of some Fresno Falcon bobblehead stew, but the meat might be a little too chewy. Maybe I'll just put the bobblehead in a pot with some carrots and cook on high heat for a while... Oh yes, December 30th is 'Cook a Falcon' night at the Rabobank. Wear your chef's hat and get interviewed in the first ever hockey podcast out of Bakersfield, California. Yes, I will be the one wandering the arena looking for the perfect trash talk interview.

Cookin' some Fresno vittles. I'll have a leg, please...

The podcast should be fun. I'm going to find some fans to help trash talk with. Should be delightful. Then I'm going to make sure those punks over at dorktown listen in to some good old fashioned Buck City Podcast trash talk...

Gotta love it...

-n.l. bobblehead

N.L. fights back in Condors loss to the Anglers! - By N.L. Bobblehead

2005-12-27T06:17:00.000-08:00

Other hockey blogs might bow down to the words of the dreaded Vegas Angler fan when he posted his stinky comments in my last blog. His meager attempts to fish his way through hockey trash talk and lead all Condors to ruin just will not be had. I will fight through good seasons, bad seasons and mediocre seasons with that Cranky Young Angler Man...

And besides, I know how tired that Cranky Young Angler Fan gets from all those midnight rendezvous with the Anglers on the ice... Here's one of my favorite blogs entries from the killer blog, Sidearm Entry, this about how the Angler fans pitch together to perform during intermissions in their mini-tributes to glam rock.

Just to show my rowdiness in good faith, here are a few pictures from last night to savor and enjoy just before the New Year:

Picking his nose with his goalie stick.

At least we got the first goal. It was great false hope!

St. Jacques gets his helmet ripped off in one of those patented Vegas cheater moves.

The Condors seemed to help Vegas to victory. Here you can see Economakos kindly helping up one of the Vegas players.

The best part of the night was the new JumboVision screens...

There were no fights. Sissy Vegas Whoosies...

And the biggest Christmas revelation of the night?? You make the call:

Foreman Elf in disguise??

Security guard in disguise??

Life below sea level with the Bakersfield Condors - By N.L. Bobblehead

2005-12-26T21:49:00.000-08:00

Being below .500 is like being below sea level. You get a sinking feeling. You feel like fish food cause you're definitely not one of the fish. But if you were batting for the Yankees, being just below .500 would be like Ted Williams' ghost on Mark McGuire's leftover steroids.

But then, we're not talking baseball. If we were, those would be big hits. In hockey there's a different kind of hits, and yes, the Condors were laid out. Yes, we're talking about the Bakersfield Condors losing tonight to the Las Vegas Wranglers in the Rabobank Arena. Sure, there were bad calls. Old friend Richard Morosa, birthday boy supreme (his birthday displayed on the big jumbotron), said while sitting near the boards, "You have 80 uncalled penalties during the night. Then the refs decide to call a ticky tack call with two minutes left."

Didn't matter. The Condors couldn't score after the first period. But I got the point. The refs could have helped a little bit. Old Condor Todd Alexander didn't help either. He looked terrific crushing Condors in his path to a Wrangleriffic victory.

Oh don't you worry. I still hate the Vegas Whoosies. Sure, they have a stacked AHL-level team with some folks who played NHL games. But the Condors could have done better.

Was it the toxic shakes fed to the players from the Vegas' coaches secret tapping into the Yucca Mountain nuclear reservoir? Definitely. But the Condors could have played better...

We're below sea level, but New Year's Eve is on the way. The Bakersfield Condors are undefeated on band nights and Fatt Katt and the Vonzippers will be in the house. Get your discount tickets from nlbelardes.com. See you at the game. The Condors are sure to win the next and be right back to .500...

Vegas Wrangler Sherriff tries to throw down THE ALIEN LAW - By N.L. Bobblehead

2005-12-22T06:07:00.000-08:00

I never liked Las Vegas even when I lived there. All the cowboys didn't fear horses or cowpokes, but had this strange fear of Area 51. Could this be where the Las Vegas Wranglers are getting their uncanny energy to actually win games? Has the coach been having the team sleep in their Wiggles sleeping bags out on the Extra-Terrestrial Highway and then for an added bonus of infused energy, have them all camp out and roast marshmallows at the Nevada Test Site? What's next? Yucca Mountain toxic goo shakes before their big ice hockey games?

That's cheating...

Should the Bakersfield Condors stoop so low? The Condors are just a bunch of nice guys who feed the homeless and sing Christmas carols to old ladies. What's wrong with that? Obviously that dreaded Wrangler fan, glowing himself from a toxic martini had something to say.

Read on:

Straight from 'Bakersfield One': "The poster features Condor favorites Scott Basiuk, Mike Hofstrand, Ryan Munce, Eric Neilson, Kevin St. Jacques and captain Sean Venedam caroling in a winter wonderland."

Caroling in a winter wonderland?? Seems like you guys have something against your Canadian players? Don't see the US guys having to go through this charade.

So now the Wranglers are Number 1 overall. You must be hating them right now. I hope your team can give us a bit of a game, anyways.

Oh BTW: I'll be driving through Bakersfailed tomorrow. I'll be sure to wind my windows up tight!

Keep up the great work, NL.

I don't like that Wrangler fan, taunting us with his fake #1 alien-infused status. QUIT YOUR CHEATING YA YAHOO WRANGLER AND PLAY FAIR!!!

It's on! And remember who won in the last meeting... THE CONDORS!

Will the Filthies and Rocky Nash perform at the ice center? By N.L. Bobblehead

2005-12-20T09:52:00.000-08:00

The Condors are doing a benefit for cancer folks at the Bakersfield Ice Sports Center December 30-31st and asked if a few bands could play.

What do I care? It's a good cause and hockey songs need to be played everywhere...

I'll keep you posted.

-n.l.

Ouch. Vegas fan rips the head off Bakersfield - By N.L. Bobblehead

2005-12-19T12:01:00.000-08:00

Help? How do I respond to this dastardly letter from that Vegas Wrangler fan, that angst-filled Bakersfield hater!

Wow, it's getting to point where I could start to feel bad for trash talking your team. First the 8-1 loss to the other birds in Sand Diego, then straight into the 3-1 loss against the Roadrunners. Man, it has to be all uphill from here.... right?

Maybe you can jump on the Wranglers bandwagon while there's still time! Sure we lost 4 games this year, but 3 were in Alaska, and we had to spot them some points.

Oh well, there's still hope for the Scavengers. You have a full 8 days off to prepare for the mighty Wranglers on Boxing Day. Yes, that's right: Boxing Day.

All I can say is that I hope we shut him up when the Vegas Whoosies get pounded by the Condors...

There better be a fight at the next game!

Condorstown Song to get airplay tonight - By N.L. Bobblehead

2005-12-15T12:41:00.000-08:00

On KGEO 1230 AM Radio tonight Patchboy and the coaches are going to play the Filthies hockey hit, "Condorstown" between 6-7PM. I can't wait. It's going to be a proud papa moment. Giving birth to the hockey CD was no easy task. Musicians had to be coordinated. And since I'm unorganized and bands are often, well, unorganized, that made the task a bit tough...

It was easy for me to think up ideas. I literally sat in a Chinese restaurant in Bakersfield (China Palace) and over potstickers and orange chicken came up with some zany hockey songs.

The song "Zamboni Zombie" was one of those hilarious ideas although a few never got used. I had one song called "Colonel Bird the Skater" that no one would make, and another titled "Invade Canada!" that just didn't have any takers. "Country Puck Song" became Rocky Nashes "Hockey Hangover", while "Condorstown" lyrics changed ala Kenny Mount's incredible creativity. "I Hit an NHL Star" didn't get recorded for the CD but was inspired by the big Bakersfield Langston hit on Alaskan, Scott Gomez. "I Hate the Wranglers" would have been great, but once again, no takers.

Thanks again to the Condors and Patchboy for helping to promote Growing Up Fighting: Bakersfield Hockey Vol 1. And thanks to Hockey Sith for jumping in and leaving fun comments... It's been getting tiring having to answer that slug of a Wrangler's fan and all his whining comments. He must get so defensive because so many people hate the VegA$$ Wranglers. Remember Tibbitts?? That guy was so fun to hate...!

Shake it, baby. Shake it.

-n.l.

Letter from Vegas - By N.L. Bobblehead

2005-12-10T22:39:00.000-08:00

Email from the most hated Vegas Wrangler's fan there ever was regarding the Nip and Tuck night at the Condors game against the Stockton Thunder:

What the Crap? What kind of hockey fans are they breeding out there?? I just went to see if you guys had played Stockton yet, and found another... frightening story on the Bakersfailed site. It seems that (and I quote) one 'lucky' fan "will win a personal makeover courtesy of La Preciosa". I had to read it twice! I mean I was at a game on Saturday and won $50 at the local bar - and they give away tummy tucks in your town?? Not only that, but you must have some ugly people there as the prize is worth up to $8000!

You could by a lot of botox and silicon with that!

On another note, I'm glad the team is having a toy drive. I'm sure the boys will be lonely this Christmas. I'd say to get them a car set, but that toy's only for tough guys like the Hansons. Anyway, good luck Friday night - I'm thinking you're going win by about 5 goals against that hapless Stockton team.

Keep up the good work NL

Art

OK, it was a close game. But the Condors won in front of 5,877 fans. I was a no show, so it wasn't me who won the nip and tuck. I mean, my friend Flower in the Dale would have loved to win the big booby prize. And then she would have probably showed half of Bakersfield her new found glory orbs of golden silicon.

But then, I hear that the Vegas Wranglerettes are giving away an entire theatre to the Vegas premiere of Brokeback Mountain, starring the entire Wranglerettes chorus line.

I hear they're having an after party at a swingin' corral with some five star entertainment provided from some of their friends down the merry way...

OK, I'm just happy the Condors won... too bad they didn't crush the Thunder...

The old Las Vegas Thunder? - By N.L. Bobblehead

2005-12-07T16:42:00.000-08:00

I used to go to Las Vegas Thunder ice hockey games of the old IHL. Talk about putting me to sleep. The biggest moment ever in a Las Vegas Thunder game was not watching the sleepy players down on the ice, ragged from a day's gambling. It was winning the Dominoes Pizza Delivery of the Game! There I was with my kids and old flame, and we were just dozing off when the announcer said, "And now, for the Dominoes Pizza Delivery of the Game."

We looked up and suddenly we were on the Jumbotron in the Thomas and Mack Arena! Hell, we weren't even sitting in our alotted seats. But we got a big fat pepperoni pizza. We woke up after that and I think the Thunder lost by 12 goals.

Now they're a bunch of Wranglerettes. And the old name Thunder? That's carried on to the Stockton Thunder. They're not very good and I think they use their mascot in their game for their hardest hits.

That Vegas Wrangler fan, Cranky Young Man has been harrassing me again. He recently wrote in a comment:

I hope to HELL that you don't lose to the Thunder. Even if it is the name of a recent Vegas team, they are baa-aa-a -d and not even the Condors deserve to lose to them.

I really hope that you win, because I would be so embarrassed if you lost. I mean, how could the team from Bakersfield lose to such a lowly team?? My prayers are with you.

I'll have to say I agree with him.

The Condors better play the new CD if they want to go 6-0 on hockey song nights...

Which reminds me, check out the new artwork for the CD.