Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Skywalker hates the Wranglers but loves Dirty Spanglish - By N.L. Belardes

Have I mentioned lately how much I hate the Las Vegas Wranglers?

I hate them. Imagine Anakin Skywalker saying, "I hate them" about those dreaded sandpeople. Yeah...

OK, now for hockey game music news:

The War Days Director, Pablo Esquival, call him whatever you want. I call him my punk kid... and I'm proud of him because he's playing the Rabobank with his buddies in Dirty Spanglish, a bunch of 14-year-olds performing their anti-sports officiating hockey song, Zebras! Sound by the Filthies...

Flier made by the Condors...

Dirty Spanglish fans can get discount tickets for the game against the Vegas Wranglers...

Puck drops at 7pm. Dirty Spanglish will be performing around 8pm. That's early enough to attend and still make all the other gigs you plan on attending that night.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Bakersfield Roller Hockey moments to be proud of - By N.L. Bobblehead

Rollerama hockey was never so cruel... yet fun. Come and join...


Mark 'The Postman' Hutchinson looks on...


Goons...


Hockey sluts...


Mr. Braun, a forlorn Broncos fan about to rip the puck from the ref's grasp. The ref ate too much pizza before the game and nearly hurled pepperoni chunks.

What's the deal? Why are the Condors winning? - By N.L. Bobblehead

A win against Utah tonight would make for three wins in a row for the Bakersfield Condors. Next thing you know I'm going to be put on a permanent roller hockey team roster and actually win a game myself (I can't help it that I'm dooming my 0-1-1 teams).

Maybe it's the Condor cowbell issues getting resolved between bell-ringing houligans and gentle game-goers that's created this new rash of wins. Maybe it's our own goalie and defense, stepping up, or an offense that lacks stars like Connor James... Could a Condor star be developing before our very eyes? Who would that be?

I wish I would have snapped a photo of that historical treaty between the rough and tough bell ringers and sappy pappy nay sayers...

Well, three cheers for loudness. My own kid's band, Dirty Spanglish will be rocking the Condor house Saturday, February 4th. You can eve get discount tickets...

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Week Two: Bakersfield Roller Hockey Diary for the washed up hockey player - By N.L. Bobblehead

This week it was all I could do to stretch for an hour before the big return to league play at Rollerama. If I hadn’t? There would have been hell to pay. My knees would have been screaming. My shoulders would have popped out of their sockets, and I would have ended up a pretzel for sure, just from trying to do a hockey stop.

Now I didn’t bring a cowbell, and my kids weren’t even around, so I just wandered in and skated around in warm-up. I talked to Glen Mear’s wife Amber for a while. I tried to talk to hockey player pals, Mark and Nikki Hutchinson’s kid, but just made him cry. Whoops.

Of course I’m not even really on a roster. I’m one of two floater players. I fill in on the teams who need an extra skater. So it wasn’t very nice of me to get an assist in my first game and have the league owner suddenly say, “Can you put on a white jersey and play for the other team?” I had been playing in a vintage black Kings jersey. “Sure,” I said. I changed teams to the side I was trying my best to hate and suddenly had to switch my hate for the previous team just so I could have energy to skate a one-minute shift. It’s a ‘for fun’ league after all.

“Hey, maybe your points can follow you to the team you just switched to,” one brute of a hockey player said.

“Sure, I don’t mind,” I smiled.

That game ended in a tie. I guess I had the assist on the tying goal on the opposite team. Whoops again.

In my second game I made a few good defensive plays. But we lost. And I had zero offense. Back in the day I was good for one or two goals a game.

0-1-1 is my record, with no goals and one assist. Not even a penalty. I did shove one chick hockey player in the head. But I don’t even think she felt it. I was feeling rather weak having just seen Brokeback Mountain a few days before…

I’m looking forward to week three. I’m thinking I might have two goals and a good game from being regular with my geritol and vitamins all week!

Right.

Quote of the game: “Can you skate outside the building. Cause you’re making me look bad.”

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Back in the Bakersfield roller hockey saddle again: Week One - By N.L. Bobblehead

Week One:

Ahh, I remember back to those whippersnapper days of Jastro Park, where Mike Butters told me once that I was “tenacious”. Now that was the kind of hockey pep I needed in my young 20s, those days of youth now replaced by sore knees and elbows and a group of folks all together at the local Rollerama to play in the Neath League, better known as the Rollerama Hockey Club. Check out the policies. I think there's something in there about 'no cowbell'.

I had taken a year off, but now I am back in the hockey saddle to get in shape and lose some of the French fries I have been accumulating around my stomach area since taking a year off to promote the local music and art scene and my own dastardly novel.

This was pre-season game night. My legs were stiff, my elbows crickety, but I still had a few moves in the tired old bones. Very few. My favorite quote of the evening? One of the referees skated past and said, “I feel my pizza comin’ up.”

Classic.

I had one goal and two assists. But none of it counted. Like I said… pre-season. That sucks. The next day I was sore as hell.

Historic night for Bakersfield underground hip-hop as "Hat Trick" is performed in the Rabobank Arena - By N.L. Bobblehead

The exciting part about putting a CD together is trying to get bands into the Rabobank Arena. Performers just want to perform, to get the message outabout their own brand of music; that means the bigger the crowd, the better. When King Mark, Caleb Kelly and St. Patrick performed at the Rabobank last Saturday night I was just excited as I could ever get about being a part of a music-driven project like Growing Up Fighting: Bakersfield Hockey Vol 1.

It was another victory for band nights and the Bakersfield Condors. With only one loss on band nights and more than 30,000 fans exposed to Bakersfield bands over a series of Saturday nights, I was just as proud as the rappers as I was the Condors for kicking some serious ass over the fish-flopping smelly Victoria Salmon Kings. Of course the hip-hop/trip hop Bakersfield scene has been officially exposed, so I’m expecting good things to happen: some hip-hop burning in the underground passages of the Pizza-a-go-go with the Kerouac of K-Mart overseeing all the jams. Only if he can make a few dollars I'm sure. After all, big Jon Coley is a business man. Slip me some pizza, Jonny K!

It was a great night for music. The rappers jumped into their song, threw hats into the crowd, and got everyone pumped for hockey and hip-hop! I wanted to fly over the boards and score a hat trick on those punk Salmon heads... Oh yes, there were 6,330 fans in the house...

Fans flocked in the halls after the performance of the song "Hat Trick" to get a glimpse of just who these three rappers were. The hippest of the family were around too; all the sweetest folks and hugs were all around.



All the rappers signed a few autographs and hung out in the halls for some great camraderie. I was sad to see the band and its fans left the game early. But then so did I to finally go check out Monty Byrom, so I was guilty as well.

Give it up for hip-hop hockey song, "Hat Trick". It’s sure to be a long-lasting hit in the Rabobank Arena…

Next up: FEBRUARY 4th is The War Day's director in his band, Dirty Spanglish performing their anti-hockey official anthem, "Zebras". Who knows, maybe Pablo Esquival will show up with a copy of Lords: Part One... oh yeah, plug it, baby, plug the arrrrt.... do you hear me?

More cowbell, please - By N.L. Bobblehead

All I have to say to this cowbell complaint is, MORE COWBELL, Cause I got a fever and the only prescription is more COWBELL!!!(Yes, click on the video)

Typical of a losing war you find divide and conquer from within. Next thing you know the mighty Condor empire will fall and be renamed the Baby Quiet Tweetybirds and everyone will have Tweety Pillows and little sponge wings that flap and don't make any noise at all...

I blame the Condors fiery mascot, Colonel Claw'd. He's the loudest in the house with the bell... probably grew up in a strange nest with lots of metallic objects shaken in front of his golden beak.


You're a bad, bad bird...

-n.l.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Plant a hockey garden, get a Rosebush - By N.L. Bobblehead

I wasn't at the game last night but I heard the fans were going nutsoid over the return of Paul Rosebush. What's this? The Michael Jordan of Bakersfield minor league hockey coming out of retirement?

That gives something for the fans to cheer about. Although more Ws would help along the way...

I'll just say this: I'm sure the Bakersfield Condors were supposed to win, but you know how it is when a bunch of Floridans sneak swamp water into the gatorade bottles.

Now if we could just get back Yataka Fukufuji and Connor James, all would be right in the Bakersfield Hockey universe.

-n.l.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Tragedy to triumph, the KooKooNauts play Rabobank during hockey battle - by N.L. Bobblehead

The KooKooNauts had all but given up their lives as young rock stars. These punk boy wailers, all in their teen years had etched their place in the history of Bakersfield punk rock. How? By playing their own brand of hardcore punk all around town. In churches, in the pizza-a-go-go, at the Boiler Room, in freaky parks where the Lords of Bakersfield myths dwell, on college campuses, even in the outskirt dusty towns in the Central Valley.

In 2005 their music was played on local radio while mysterious punk writer, Johnny Davenport etched their names in a historic punk piece that made its way into underground papers and websites. Then later in 2005 there was the big attack on lead man Bryan, who with a broken skull nearly lost his eye after a brutal unprovoked beating at the Montgomery World Plaza. Through nlbelardes.com news of the attack reached around the country.

Bryan is the voice and energy of the KooKooNauts. Without him leading the way, the KooKooNauts would be no more than a figment of the music scene, another lost band to 2005 Bakersfield band break-ups, and old N.L.s "Kookoo for KooKooNauts" on KRAB radio would have been soon forgotten as a lost Sunday night echo with Danny Spanks.

I talked to Bryan's dad not long after the attack and begged him to coerce the KooKooNauts into creating a hockey song, and to tell them I would do all I could to get them into the Rabobank Arena to perform their song during one of the Condors hockey games.

Bryan came through. He got a newfound music-driven energy and recorded a song with the rest of the KooKooBoys at Rubber Tree Studios titled, "Birds of Prey." The cut barely made the CD. But before Bryan new it, tragedy turned to triumph and the KooKooNauts were booked to play during the first intermission at the Rabobank Arena during a Condors/Alaska game January 7th that was sure to be as brutal as an unprovoked punk bashing.



It was the perfect night for the KooKooNauts. Aliens showed up in the cold January night and I snapped a few photos of the mysterious craft landing where these alien punks drifted into the hockey game crowd to play Ramones songs and KooKooNauts tunes. The game itself was as punk as punk ever is: hard-hitting and filled with triumph, tragedy, and a little anarchic behavior. The Condors nearly had those big jerkoff Alaska Aces. There were elbows to faces, fast skating, a big heroic comeback followed by lousy defense and goaltending in a big loss to the Anchorage team. Bryan waved a banner and the team mascot came up and banged on the drums in the only display of 'Bird gone punk' I've ever seen.



The KooKooNauts performance after the first intermission was pure punk fun mixed with the energy and angst of teenage years, clearly showing the upside of youth in these fun-loving punkboy antics. "Birds of Prey" got a cheer from the more than 7,100 fans on-hand to see the hockey-punk action with Bryan jumping at the end of the song in excitement.

The game itself displayed frustration in a lone Pepsi discarded right to the ice as if a fan said, "I give up on this trash can of a game." Sure, that broke the undefeated band night, but a 7-1 band night record is nothing to laugh at; and that was followed up by an ass-whooping of Idaho on Monday by a feisty Condor team that as Birds of Prey really did show they can circle the ice and swoop in for the fish kill.

I smiled after their performance. Whenever do you see big spiked punk Mohawks in a crowd filled with Bakersfield elitists and little kids with big wondrous eyes that never laid eyes on the Bakersfield underground? Thanks to the KooKooNauts. Last Saturday night in Bakersfield was surely their own historic night to be a part of the Bakersfield music scene and hockey punk culture.

For lots of photos of the event, click here.

*side note from KooKooNauts: SEE THE KOOKOONAUTS ON T.V. The game will air continuously on channel 99 On Bright House network until Friday, Jan. 13th 2006 at 12:40 A.M.. KOOKOONAUTS ON T.V.! Kookoonauts are part of the N.L. Belardes record project Growing Up Fighting: Bakersfield Hockey Vol. 1 As part of the promotion, the bands on the CD are plying at 1st section break of the Condors games, right after the T.V. commercials. The Kookoonauts played last Saturday night to 7,142 Condors fans. Brighthouse filmed the game and also the Kookoonauts indoor performance of "Birds of Prey", the new song on N.L. Belardes record project. The Nauts were also televised do their song and some antics with Colonel Claw'd, the Condors mascot.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Zamboni Zombie drivers needed - By N.L. Bobblehead

Wanna be the new Zamboni Zombie?

Oh yes you do...

Monday, January 09, 2006

Connor James Bobblehead goes up in stock - By N.L. Bobblehead

Connor James, the best player I have ever seen wear a Condor's uniform played for the LA Kings the other night against the San Jose Sharks in a 3-2 loss. He won two face-offs, got a shot on goal, and played 14 shifts. He's the first Condor to ever make the NHL. Wow...

Why did he make it to the big leagues? The Kings own his contract and they have 10 injured players. Yet they keep winning...

I think my Connor James Bobblehead just went up in stock.

Trivia: the above photo is my pic on the Connor James Bobblehead.

I wish now Rocky Nash would have created their hockey song, "Bobblehead" per my original lyrics and title: "Connor James is a Bobblehead". But then, a lot of folks just don't understand my vision... it happens. At least I got the Filthies to mention him in their song, "Condorstown", although Kenny sings "Connors", instead of "Connor". Yet, it's still my tribute to my favorite Condor's player ever. I have never seen anyone like that kid touch a puck and fans literally go crazy. OK, well Fukufuji was really cool too. I tried to get a song just about him too...

Stay tuned for write-ups on the KooKooNauts in the Rabobank and the big loss to Alaska.

Sucks to lose to those fishheads.

-n.l.

Friday, January 06, 2006

KooKooNauts on undefeated band nights this Saturday - By N.L. Bobblehead

Will the Condors win on the next band night? 5-0 when bands play and 6-0 if you include the first time they played the hockey CD in the Rabobank. This Saturday, January 7th, the KooKooNauts will be playing "Birds of Prey", one of my favorite songs from Growing Up Fighting: Bakersfield Hockey Vol. 1.

It took a while to talk the KooKooNauts into being a part of the CD. They were on board at first, but you know how punk high school kids get. Their focus turned elsewhere. Then there was the big attack on Bryan, their lead singer. I think something changed in his life where he gained focus and in a matter of days suddenly had a hockey song.

His is a success story. He's gone from almost losing an eye and having been tragically attacked to his big comeback this Saturday. To go from injury and sadness to playing at the Rabobank arena during a Condors hockey game. You just can't beat it!



Go support this kid and his cool band, the KooKooNauts. I'm kookoo for KooKooNauts! I just linked up some special priced seating tickets for the game. Go check it out and see a cool kid punk band who I have never seen before. And then pray that the Birds of Prey will pull through and continue their unbeaten streak on band night!

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

New Year's eve on Buck City episode 22 as the Condors smash the Stockton Thunder - By N.L. Bobblehead



Oh yes, you can subscribe to the Buck City Podcast! Go to iTUNES and check it out... or plug in the feed to a player.



Or you can just download the MP3 of episode #22.

Yes, it was a great night for a Buck City Podcast as Fatt Katt and the Vonzippers performed to 5,100 fans at the Rabobank arena. That makes for more than 30,000 fans seeing bands perform at the Rabobank to promote the hockey CD! On episode #22 of Buck City, listen to N.L. trash talk the Stockton Thunder hockey team and interview Fatt Katt and the Vonzippers as the Bakersfield Condors go 6-0 on UNDEFEATED band nights...

There's more:

Listen to the War Days Director and N.L. make fun of the Stockton Thunder's lame team colors...

Hear N.L. interview Fatt Katt before the game...

Listen to N.L. as he travels to the pressbox to interview Condor's broadcaster Patchboy but meets Stockton broadcaster Mike Benton who makes punk excuses for the Thunder's jerseys.

N.L. interviews Patchboy and wonders just what it takes to be a good ol' boy celebrity and get invited to a celebrity hockey game...

Hear N.L. interview the sponge claw guy

Find out at what point of the game Condors president Matt Riley spikes his Pepsi

Listen to drunk hockey players with pink hats reminisce with N.L. over old wounds

Get down with the V.I.P room interview with Fatt Katt and Styx from Fatt Katt and the Vonzippers as they talk Growing Up Fighting: Bakersfield Hockey Vol. 1, hockey songs, Buck Owens, and their forthcoming Fatt Katt CD... Does Fatt Katt get nervous about the Condors possibly losing??

The show ends with some good trash talk and happy New Year's wishes from N.L., the War Days director and Matildakay.com...